Secrets For Success

Real Happiness

2010-11-08T14:29:00.000+01:00

We all cherish happy moment in our life. We do so by either capturing them in digital or saving them safe in our memory so that we can recall those moments in our life and feel happiness by remembering those happy moments. Have you ever wondered what real happiness is?

Have you ever wondered what real happiness is?

“Mankind are always happy for having been happy, so that if you make them happy now, you make them happy twenty years hence by the memory of it.”

When we all wish to stay happy in our life then why on the earth, we capture happy moments to see or remember them later. When we come across unhappy moments, we wish to cheer ourselves by remembering happy moments of past or dreaming about happy moment in future but in all we still stay unhappy in our present moment.

Is it not possible for us to stay happy all time even when things are not fine? Or is it a real big mystery, which we cannot solve. Why can’t every day be the best moment in our life where we celebrate and enjoy every moment in our life?

“A man is happy so long as he chooses to be happy and nothing can stop him”.

Our life is a like a roller coaster like in one moment we are at high enjoying best of what life can offer us while next moment we are very low when life take a little test. What we need to do to find real happiness is to learn to balance our life so that we can enjoy every moment in our life. If we set this as our ultimate goal, we can stay happy forever. We should learn to enjoy sorrow, tough time and dare to face our weakness. When we learn to balance our life, we take our step towards happiness. We can truly enjoy every moment and every thing we do and when we do so we will enjoy real happiness in everything.

How to Relax and Be Happy During Hard Times

2010-08-27T16:42:00.000+02:00

How to Relax and Be Happy During Hard Times

By Wil Langford

Knowing how to relax and be happy, no matter what is happening around you, is a real gift. There have been real life accounts of people who were rich and healthy, who seemed to lead an ideal life, and yet, they were unhappy or sad. On the other hand, there have also been accounts of people whose lives were hard, even painful, and yet, they were happy. How can this be?

The reason for these paradoxes is that happiness and sadness are not determined by circumstances, but by our state of mind.

That may be one of the greatest gifts of life and each of us may partake of it merely by learning how to focus on things that bring peace, relaxation, happiness. Whatever we focus on will determine our mental, emotional, and even physical state. Of course, there are some limitations, but I have rarely found a person who couldn't be happier or more relaxed.

I learned the value of focusing my mind many years ago when I had to overcome a very big challenge. I had a young family to support and managed to land a job in a shipyard repairing submarines. It was a good job with health benefits and security that I needed for my wife and son. However, I was assigned to the torpedo room and was told that I would be working inside tanks and even inside the long torpedo tubes. I had suffered from pretty severe claustrophobia all my life and had omitted to mention that when I got hired because I was afraid I wouldn't get the job if I brought it up.

For those of you who may never have been on a submarine, particularly a small, fast attack submarine, let me describe it for you. Every square inch of space in a submarine is precious and almost every part has equipment and pipes in the way. Humans are the last piece of equipment to be added and therefore, we have to work around all those pipes, wires, machines, pumps and gear. Worse yet, a torpedo tube is a long metal pipe, like a big gun barrel, with a door on each end. At one end is the torpedo room and at the other end, the ocean. It is cold, dark, and so small you have to crawl in and out. There isn't enough room to turn around in a torpedo tube so if you crawl in headfirst, you are looking at the dark end.

The first day I went into the torpedo room, my boss asked if I was afraid of tight places. I tried to hide my fear and said, "No." He then told me to crawl inside the torpedo tube with an inside micrometer (a measuring device) to measure at certain intervals the entire length of the tube. I was afraid that I would panic once in the tube, but managed to crawl inside with my drop light and micrometer, pen and paper. Then, a thought occurred to me. Maybe if I kept focused on measuring and writing, I wouldn't notice the tight spot or think about a panic attack.

I crawled to the far end of the tube, about 30 feet away, all the while thinking about the job and how to do it. Before I knew it, I was at the far end of the tube. I put the light down and started measuring and writing the measurements on the paper. When I say I focused, I mean I really focused, consequently, I did a great job. Unfortunately for me, I did such a good job that I wound up working in those torpedo tubes day after day, measuring and grinding them back into shape.

I crawled all over those submarines during the next two years, in tighter spots than the torpedo tubes, too. My method was always the same, just focus on what you want to do and do it. The fact that I was also studying meditation and learning how to focus was a great help to me, as well. It was a valuable life lesson about how your surroundings have less to do with your feelings than your attitude and desire. My desire was to provide for my family and myself, even if it meant doing something difficult and fear producing, my attitude was that I could do it if I focused on the job.

It may be the same for you. Focus on what you want in life. I am not talking about material things, but rather, the feelings you want. What thought makes you feel happy? You will only be as happy or sad as you feel and thoughts lead to feelings. While chemical changes in the body and brain do affect our feelings, our thoughts affect the chemicals in our bodies. Every thought that you have is an electro-chemical event in your body and produces polypeptides and hormones that affect how you feel, even your physical health. While clinical depression is a medical condition that does require medical care, for many of us, our thoughts and learning to use them for our own happiness, is all it takes to feel good even when times are bad.

Winning Back Trust

2010-08-27T16:36:00.000+02:00

Trust, to me, is a simple matter. It boils down to a pure essence, one that smells nothing like a rat. Trust is being where you’re supposed to be, when you're supposed to be, doing what you said you would do. In that respect, trust is just a series of repeat visits that coincide with the expectations of the truster, such that the truster doesn't have to be breathing down the other guy's neck eight days a week.

Trust is difficult to gain, but much more easily lost and almost impossible to win back. It can be lost through no fault of your own, such as by miscommunication or by bad timing. Another way to lose it is by getting sloppy and letting the quality of your work slide. Then there's losing trust by intentional deceit, like when Whitey Bulger informed the Feds that Howie Winter was fixing horse races. Imagine Mr. Winter trying to forgive and forget after 10 years in the clink.

A breach of trust is so difficult to forgive because trust is so vital to daily operations, and lifelong partnerships rely on it. But winning back trust is possible with the following methods.

Act early

Once you realize that you have betrayed someone's trust, tell the person yourself before someone else does. Put your hat in your hand, step onto the carpet and pipe up. Put some sugar on it and act humble. If the person you betrayed gets angry, take the tirade with style and make it known that you are taking off the cloak and dagger out of loyalty. In other words, grovel with dignity.

Be persistent

At first, you will probably be rebuffed by the person you let down. Even if someone says, "You're dead to me now," don't give up right away. If you grew up Catholic like everyone in my neighborhood did, you'll be feeling plenty guilty about your sins. Put that guilt to work by acting penitent. Don't let the last word be spoken in the heat of the moment. Go away for a while, and then come back once the initial anger has worn down -- the edge will be smoother a few days later. Look at all these cafone celebrities, for example. They make asses of themselves, then a week later, I see them smiling on the morning news while I'm trying to enjoy my coffee.

If you want to work in this town again, own up to your mistake.

Don't make excuses

This is especially important when the problem arose from something beyond your control. Most people have to gamble at times and operate in what my banker calls "the float." The float is when your account doesn't quite have the money you need just yet, but a check is in the mail, and you go ahead and make another deal as if you were solvent. You lie because business sometimes requires it.

The same thing happens with deliveries and timing. Let's say the bagman arrives much too late with the dough. In the interim, you have to cover the vacuum of missing money using your mouth. Promise confidently to fulfill your original promise. Deals fall through from time to time -- it's a part of life -- but when you have to tell someone that you lied, at least do it with clarity and dignity.

Learn from your mistakes

One reason Al Capone lasted as long as he did is that he surrounded himself with ironclad people who understood the meaning of omerta. If you are cast out to the east of your Eden, don't plunge into self-reflection; rather, learn from your mistake. Let your pride down for a moment so that the lesson gets tattooed in your brain.

Parents tell their kids to learn from others’ mistakes, not from their own. But anyone who has lived beyond the age of 40 can assure you of one thing: Mistakes will be made no matter what your intentions, just like history will repeat itself. Therefore, knowing that life will never be perfect, you should swallow the lesson of what it feels like to lose someone's trust and don't do it again.

Change your behavior

The person you betrayed has no compelling reason to believe your plea unless you show that you have changed. If the problem started because you weren’t paying attention to detail, then become a stickler. Perhaps you were spending more time chasing the girls around the maypole than working, so get back on the bricks every day until your feet hurt.

After a certain age, it becomes difficult to change, but a dire situation requires a new way of thinking. Plenty of guys have checked into Alcoholics Anonymous because they have lost trust. If booze or drugs are the stumbling blocks impeding your progress, figure out how to get out of that cycle.

Fix the process

Policies, traditions and routines are often flawed and prone to failure. If the system you are working in doesn't have the harmony of the planets, take measures to rectify the irregular parts of your business. Make suggestions to your boss about how to avoid having the same thing happen again. Sometimes it's only one trucker who is late; sometimes it's the whole trucking company. Cut the contract, trim the fat or do whatever you must to restore confidence in your end of the business. Rather than passing the buck and finding a cause for your misfortune, rethink the process so that it doesn't happen again.

Start climbing again

Keep your nose to the grindstone and your feet moving. Falling down a few ranks doesn't have to break your mind. A demotion is not the end of the world unless you want to roll over, but that's what goomahs are for. Wake up in the morning and start setting the world on fire -- but not like Frank Notarantonio did.

GET BACK UP THERE

Regardless of how much remorse you feel or how willing you are to change, once people know about your temporary downfall, you will endure a period of sneers and jeers. So be it. In life, you might wash 10,000 windows, but people will only remember the one that you fell through. Self-doubt may eat at you, but if you work hard to prove yourself, the wisecracks will eventually stop. The betrayal will be forgotten by those knuckleheads, and the person you betrayed will begin to notice that you aren't such a deadbeat after all.

Feel in a Rut? Jump Out!

2010-08-27T16:04:00.000+02:00

Feel in a Rut? Jump Out!

IN A RUT GET OUT

You in a bad mood? You upset because you missed the latest episode of Prison Break and want to know if Schofield was able to hot wire a turbine engine with the metal implants in his fillings?. Well, here are some tips to help you to get your butt in gear!

1. GO ON A QUICK JOG AROUND THE BLOCK

Remember your grandma always used to say, “Johnny, get out of the house!” Well, this time and probably only this time. She was right. Sometimes all we need is a little motion and like that our emotion will change. What I like to do is go on a quick jog around the block. I grab my iPod and blast my favorite song as I run as fast I can. Some may say that you should warm-up first, and they're probably right, but when you feel bad you're not thinking about warming up =)

2. GO ON A WALK AND RELAX

Not the running type. Old college football injuries? Crazy Ex-girlfriend injuries? Whatever your story. You can still go on a walk and get some benefits. Another reason is that when you feel bad you start to anchor locations to certain states of mind. (We have Pavlov and his dogs to thank for that!)

3. SMILE

And smile for real, not the cheap smile you give to your girlfriend's dad. Studies at UC Berkley showed that when they took depressed patients and just had them smile for five minutes a day, that after thirty days they reported feeling better. Give it a shot and even if it doesn't work, at least you'll have a cool cheesy smile, like that used car salesman that you bought that Winnebago from. That's cool!

4. BREATHE

Pregnant chics practice breathing, and it helps them to deliver a baby! Imagine if you did it yourself! Follow this ratio! Breath in for a count for four, hold for a count of four, and exhale for a count of four. Why a count of four? Because it's easy to keep track of! Enjoy and before long you'll be instructing Lamaze classes!

2010-08-27T15:41:00.000+02:00

2010-08-27T15:36:00.000+02:00

The Simple Life

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.“
~ Confucius

Don’t you just love the excitement you feel after coming home with a new TV? Driving home in a new car? Opening the box on a new pair of shoes?
I sure do. But, from watching the behavior of myself and my friends I’ve found that the new quickly becomes just another item. The excitement of novelty passes quickly.
As we become wealthier, people seem to be adding more and more things to our homes. We then use our homes, and our treasures, to justify that we have won the game of life.

Growing up in a family of pack-rats, I spent many years in my teens and early twenties accumulating stuff. During this time, much of my self-worth was unconsciously associated with the amount of stuff I owned; the brand names, and the latest trends. I spent a lot of money on clothes and stuff that made me feel ‘superior’. They gave me a sense of identity. If I just removed these things without awareness, my ego would have suffered. I had grown so attached to that definition of myself, that my loss would have been much deeper than just the cute sweater.

Not only did I not find myself in all this, I’ve also accumulated a lot of clutter in my living space and my inner space. Ironically, the piles of stuff actually held me back from understanding and inner peace with myself.
We are so eager to fill our homes, yet so disinterested in cleaning it out. As a result, we now require larger spaces, more storage space, and more clutter for the mind. Did you know that there are more self-storage facilities in North America than there are McDonald’s restaurants? We find it difficult to reduce the amount of stuff we own is due to our attachment to these things.Is Less Really More?

The joy and art of having less while enjoying more of life can be summed up, as follows.
The Zen of Space – There is beauty in space, but we fail to recognize it because we can’t see through the stuff we own. When we open up physical space in our environment, a tremendous feeling of peace can dwell within us. This is the principle behind Japanese style homes. Beauty in small spaces is the appreciation of minimalism, where less truly is more. We need to understand that space is to be enjoyed, not filled.
Conserved Energy – Fewer belongings means we have fewer possessions to worry about.

I once knew a wealthy young man, who had anything he dreamt of. He had so many expensive things, and he was so afraid of losing them. Much of his energy was devoted to protecting his possessions and trophies.
Free Your Space – When we are reminded of something we own but never use, we can impose self-inflicted guilt for leaving it unused.
For example, my mother owns a several exercise machines which are rarely used. Each time she sees them, she forces herself to feel guilty. Her guilt eats away at her inner, mental space. Our outer world is a reflection of our inner world. By cleaning out and simplifying our outer space, our inner space will open up like a flower.

Appreciation - The less we have, the more attention we can give those things we own and truly need on a regular basis. Appreciation is the seed for abundance; abundance of the mind and the soul. It’s pretty amazing how little we actually need. When we clear our homes and our lives down to the essentials, we are able to better enjoy that which we do have.
Nothing external to us can give us permanent and true happiness. We actually have all we need to be truly happy within us.

The art of having less but enjoying our lives more, involves a few simple changes in perspective. First, we must understand where our true values lie and focus on them. Then, we must take time to enjoy the simple things, and slow down and see what’s right in front of us.

Why You, Me Or Anyone Can Become A Millionaire

2010-01-17T13:56:00.000+01:00

The Importance Of Learning About Success

Anyone can learn the principles of success.
The biggest barriers to success are in your mind!
High Self Esteem is crucial in achieving success.

A Desire To Learn About Success

Did you know that in America someone becomes a millionaire every 10 minutes? 80% of these are self made millionaires, many of whom never went to college, came from a poor family or were non English speaking immigrants.
Studying successful people such as millionaires has taught me that success is a skill. It can be learnt by anyone, and is not necessarily constrained by an individuals level of education or social status.
It’s only requirement is perseverance and a desire to learn about success. This is the real secret to success.

Why Study Success?

For every skill we acquire in life we must first learn how to do it, success is no exception. For example, when you first learned how to drive what did you do?
You learned a new skill (driving) from someone who already possessed that skill and was successful at it. In short, you learned how to do something from someone who knew how.

But what do you think would happen if you decided to learn how to drive by yourself, without instruction? Chances are you would crash and have an accident.
The same is true in life. People who learn the principles of success get to their destination, those who do not, crash along the way.

The Barriers To Success Are In Your Mind!

A long time ago people believed the Earth was flat, and would not sail too far into the distance for fear of failing off the ends of the Earth.

However when it was finally accepted that the Earth was round, people soon set sail to explore new and distant lands.
The flat Earth story shows how beliefs can present us with either our biggest barrier or new horizons, and that in order to go somewhere we must first believe it is possible.

Low Self Esteem

Virtually all human failure comes down to low self esteem. These people believe they are not valuable or important, and limit themselves by becoming overly concerned with what others think of them.
They are afraid of failure and feel it will reflect badly upon them. As a result they prefer to take few risks.

Climb The Ladder Of Success

Successful people have high levels of confidence and self esteem, they believe they are valuable, worthwhile and important individuals.
This state of mind therefore enables them to focus on what they want to achieve, without fear of failure or concern for the approval of others.

As a result these people often soar to success, simply because they believe in themselves and are able to persist when things get tough.
So what we learn from these people is that success really begins in the mind. It is a skill that can be learnt and is greatly influenced by your beliefs.
If you enjoyed this article or website please tell someone about it!

Verbal Communication Skill Secrets for Success at Work and at Home

2010-01-15T10:03:00.000+01:00

To be able to communicate verbally, even if that "verbal" is with sign language for people who are hearing impaired, is vitally important. Without good verbal communication skill, getting by in life would be virtually impossible. Every day, in so many ways, we use those skills.

When you go into work, verbal skills are really needed. To talk on the phone with clients, to give orders to your subordinates, or to deal with your boss; you have to speak to them. And, just talking is not enough. If you are trying to get a raise from your boss, or to explain a mistake, you need to speak eloquently and convincingly. When dealing with your staff, sometime you have to give encouragement, and other times you have to give them a verbal kick to motivate them.

If you are trying to win a new client for the firm, you have to be able to show them what your company has to offer. Now, sometimes visual aids help, but what if you are on the phone? Then, it can be merely the strength of your voice and the power of your arguments that wins them over. Conversely, if you speak with a current client who is unhappy, then your voice, your tone, and your words are all that stands between them going or staying. Your verbal communication skill will really need to be at peak performance then.

In a crisis, often our words are all we have. If you should (perish the thought) find yourself on a wrecked train or plane, and people are screaming and upset; your words may be the only thing that can calm them enough for you all to escape. There is that old saying: "Freedom of speech does not mean you are free to scream 'Fire!' in a crowded theater". Well, think about it, even if the building really is on fire, should you scream that out? Carefully chosen words can help people to stay calm and get out safely.

Along those same lines, there are legal matters. Still today we have the tradition, coming down to us from the Middle Ages, of going to court for a hearing. We swear to tell the truth, and give testimony. If you should find yourself in court on a legal matter, whether it be a civil suit or a criminal trial, the power of your words alone will be all you have. Trying to convince a jury that you are innocent by merely screaming: "I didn't do it, I didn't do it!" over and over is not going to carry much weight. You must speak clearly and succinctly, and guide them to see the truth of your words. It was with good reason that public speaking and rhetoric were part of the classic education system.

In our personal lives, verbal communication skill is a vital means of sustaining relationships. You have to be able to talk to those you love and care about. Without that, your relationships will wither and die. How many times have you seen couple who seem to argue about everything: politics, religion, movies, you name it? Yet, they stay together. Agreeing on things is not the key to a strong relationship.

It is mutual respect and communication. So long as you can talk, so long as the lines of communication stay open, your relationship has a chance of staying alive. The same goes for family members. How many brothers / sisters / cousins etc. are you on good relations with? Odds are, it is the ones you talk to the most. Again, even if you do not agree on things, if you at least talk, the relationship will be all the stronger for it. You need good verbal communication skill for that.

In our everyday lives, we communicate all the time with the people we encounter. We talk to co-workers, we interact with our bosses and the people who hire us. We talk to our spouse and loved ones. So, it's no wonder that verbal communication skill is important to us.

How To Dramatically Improve Your Daily Communications?

2009-10-20T12:59:00.000+02:00

Does this ever happen to you? Feeling shy or lacking self confidence to make conversation with strangers.
It can be a tough task for any one to make a better conversation with anyone, especially when you are quite strange to that particular person.

In addition to this, if you possess an introvert personality or lack in self confidence, then it becomes much more difficult for you to get along with people in certain special events like social gatherings or any parties.
So, it is very important for you to learn how to flourish well and also improve yourself to become more confident in conversing effectively.

Secret of assertive conversation!

The secret of communicating confidently and contentedly can be mainly enhanced with three easy principles. These fundamental principles mainly include:

It would be much better for you to be more interested rather than being interesting.
There can be nothing as flattering as attaining complete attention from other individual.
Most of the people love to talk about their most wanted issue, which is about them only.

Try to keep these three important principles in your mind, which can help you greatly while you converse with a strange person.

Effective ways to converse!

Your ability to converse effectively with those you meet plays a vital role in your entire personal as well as professional relationships.
So, here are effective ways to start a great conversation with strange individuals. Try to follow these simple things and enjoy the success of speaking effectively.

To make an extraordinary conversation, first of all you must be interesting to others. So, try to keep yourself updated about genuine current issues and try to maintain a better mental list of all good topics of discussions, which can be helpful for you to break the ice.
Despite of focusing on how comfortable you would feel, try to organize yourself with your utmost interested issues and which you would like to confer about that particular issue. This little preparation can take you a long way and enables you to converse easily.
Try to be more patient and make an attempt to be a good listener, while initiating a conversation. After initiation, try to listen closely to other person’s reply. Alternatively, between talking and listening, try to respond appropriately and try to add genuine comments to their version of conversation.
However, even if it is an extremely difficult task for you, try to greet every one those you come across with a warm smile and try to maintain a perfect eye contact with the people. You can find this as a tough task initially, but once if you are successful in developing self-confidence, it doesn’t matter for you.

Developing proper self-confidence plays a vital role while learning to communicate and to converse effectively with people.
So, try to learn how to start a better conversation with strangers. It is just a simple process of improving your social skills, until you become habituated for better start of conversing.

The Importance Of Being A Good Listener

2009-10-20T12:47:00.000+02:00

In order to achieve good communication, one has to be a good listener as well.

There are several tried and tested methods that one can try if one wished to improve one’s listening skills.
Here are some tips

1. You must learn to focus on the speaker first. When you are able to achieve this, then you will automatically be able to focus on what he is saying as well, so that you are able to listen to him and comprehend the essence of what he is trying to say to you.

2. You must acknowledge the other person when he is talking to you. This may be a small nod, or an expression like ‘uh-huh’ at regular intervals through the conversation, so that the other person knows that you are actually listening to him, and also understanding what he is saying to you.

3. If you feel your attention wandering, you could bring yourself back down to earth by asking a relevant question at regular intervals.

You could ask the other person to clarify a point, or ask him to repeat a point. This will indicate to him your interest in his comments.

4. Try to improve your body language. You could start by learning to practice facing the person who is talking to you, and also maintaining regular eye contact with him.

Remember; even if you pretend to be the best listener on earth, your body language will definitely give you away.

5. Similarly, learn to study the other person’s body language. You could for a start try to put yourself into his shoes and think, “How would I feel if I were in his position?” This will automatically create an air of empathy about you, and people will automatically start to respond better to you.

6. Never take any one for granted, and never ever make the mistake of interrupting when someone is talking to you.

Try to think of yourself in the same position: how would you like it if someone were to cut you off mindlessly in mid sentence, even if you happened to be talking about something extremely important.

7. Avoid getting into an argument when the other person is still talking. Similarly, don’t offer advice when it is simply not needed.

Also, do not judge the other person. Simply listen to him, and you will be able to learn how to be an effective communicator in business as well as in your personal life.

How to Overcome Obstacles to Meeting Your Business Goals

2009-10-20T12:35:00.000+02:00

The start of the new year is a wonderful to time to create your new goals for the year. Most likely your in-box is filled with a plethora of announcements of workshops, classes and help around goal setting. This is all good, and I am a strong supporter of strategic planning myself. However, I think the easy part is planning and writing down your goals.
It’s similar to planning a vacation. You know where you want to go and you can picture yourself laying on the beach in the sun and enjoying the rewards of getting there, feeling free and successful. All your planning helped make it happen.

But the hard part for me is overcoming the obstacles that keep me from getting there. I know exactly what I want to accomplish in my business this year, but just knowing that doesn’t make it happen. In fact, overcoming the obstacles becomes the real work and the real success.

I can write down my goals, see them on paper, create a picture of it in my mind and then it becomes a huge leap to get there. I have to face all kinds of inner demons; fears around money and self doubts, not knowing how, and on and on.

There are then only two choices. Either stay safely where I am or face the fears and go for it. Here are a few questions that will help to take the fear out of the process. Insight is always an excellent first step.

1. If you can imagine yourself and your business at the end of 2009, what do you want it to look like and where do you want it to be?
2. What needs to happen in order for that to happen?
3. What obstacles might be in the way of you reaching those goals?
4. What do you need to do to overcome those obstacles?
5. What support do you need to be successful in getting past the obstacles?
6. Are you willing to do whatever it takes to create the business you want?

How to Overcome Obstacles

2009-10-20T12:32:00.000+02:00

Some people allow obstacles to stop them in their tracks. Some people permit obstacles to defeat them. But there are others who choose to use obstacles as stepping stones.

Life is not fair. Sometimes there are bumps in the road. Sometimes there are obstacles and roadblocks. Life is not without challenges for everyone. But, it is how we respond to the obstacles we face that determines where our lives go.

Perhaps you've heard someone say that obstacles are life's way of challenging you to improve your own life along the journey. But, honestly, hearing something like that, when you are in the midst of a challenge, doesn't help you or encourage you.

Here are three keys to overcoming obstacles. They are certainly not the only keys, but I really believe they are three of the most important keys in overcoming obstacles in your life.

The biggest key in overcoming any obstacle is to first get convinced that there must be a solution. You may not know what that solution is at the moment, but if you will take that course of thinking, in other words, being solution minded, you are on your way to overcoming the obstacle.

There is no greater recipe for discouragement than for a person to get convinced that there is no solution; no way out. Many times we face what appears at first to be insurmountable. If we accept that, instead of believing that there must be a solution, we will not overcome that obstacle.

The second is to refuse to feel sorry for yourself. Responses of self pity, like, "Why me?" and, "Why now?" do nothing to help you to find a solution. Self pity is a dangerous habit to get into. Constantly feeling sorry for yourself has some very negative effects.

John Gardner wrote, "Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality."

Ask yourself if you honestly believe that you are the only one who has ever faced an obstacle, or two, or three. It is part of life. And, getting into the habit of overcoming obstacles will not only be very advantageous when facing new obstacles, but it will direct your life away from unnecessary obstacles.

Yes, there are those who quite literally do invite more obstacles into their lives. People who consistently voice, "Why me?" and, "I never get a break" and, "Why does this always happen to me," are actually inviting more obstacles into their lives. We truly do manifest on the outside what is happening on the inside.

If self pity and feeling sorry for yourself has become a habit, then you must make a conscious effort to stop that kind of thinking. Focusing on finding a solution will greatly help you to get rid of self pity.

The third key is simple. If you can't on your own figure out how to overcome the obstacle, then ask for help. Keep in mind that there is a big difference in asking for help and whining, complaining and looking for sympathy. Sympathy is not a solution.

If you are going to ask someone for help, then ask someone you trust and believe in. Ask someone who you know is not going to feel sorry for you, but rather will help you with some sound advice.

Praying is asking; look above to God for help and advice and asking Him to bring to you whatever it is you need to overcome the obstacle that you are facing today.

It sounds simple, and it really is. These three keys can help you to overcome any obstacle. Remember, there must be a solution, don't feel sorry for yourself, and if you need help, then ask for it.

Secrets of Success

2009-10-10T16:25:00.000+02:00

These secrets of success make people's dreams come true

Want to know the secrets of success? Here they are.

The staff of Investor's Business Daily has made it their business to track and analyze successful people across all walks of life.

Over the years, they discovered that most successful people have 10 traits in common. And that these 10 traits -- together -- help successful people meet their goals and turn dreams into reality.

How many of these 10 secrets of success do you practice?

1. How you think is everything. Remember to “think positive” at every opportunity. Visualize success, not failure. Avoid negative environments and people.

You are what you think. In fact, a study shows that positive thinking actually increases longevity.

2. Decide on your dreams and goals. Be specific about your goals. For example, say “I am taking a cooking class next month,” rather than “I would like to take a cooking class sometime.” Create a plan to reach your goals, and stick to it.

3. Take action. Goals alone have no meaning; you need to take action to make them real. Don’t let fear hold you back. "Just do it."

4. Never stop learning. Take classes, go back to school, read books, join a discussion group. If you are interested in a subject, make time to learn about it. Keep acquiring new skills.

5. Be persistent and work hard. You’ve probably heard the expression, “success is a marathon, not a sprint.” Keep your eye on the goal, and keep working toward it. Don’t give up.

6. Learn to analyze details. Get all the facts, and ask for input. This will help you make wiser decisions. Acknowledge your mistakes, but don’t beat yourself up. Learn from your mistakes.

7. Focus your time and money. When you believe in something, put your attention and energy there. Don’t let people or things distract you.

8. Don’t be afraid to innovate; be different. Be true to yourself, and have your own ideas. Following the crowd is a path to mediocrity.

9. Communicate with people effectively. Remember that no person is an island. Communicate your thoughts and desires honestly, and encourage others to communicate honestly with you. Practice understanding and motivating other people.

10. Be honest and dependable; take responsibility for what you do. Never cheat or lie. When you make a promise, keep it. When you screw up, admit it.

honesty, dependability and responsibility, the other nine secrets of success don’t add up to much.

Good example of people that coped well with mistakes, failure and embarrassment..

2009-10-07T22:42:00.000+02:00

Good example of people that coped well with mistakes, failure and embarrassment..

Failure VS Success

2009-10-07T22:39:00.003+02:00

Confronting the Fear of Failure

Failure is one of the "dirtiest" words in our society — including all the four letter words. Many people would rather be odd, hostile, overworked or many other "terrible" things than be seen as a failure. With the tremendous stress we place on success, this isn't surprising. After all, successful people are winners aren't they?

People feel sorry for losers and no one wants to be pitied. At the same time, we are constantly bombarded with truisms to make us feel better after an apparent failure. These are phrases like, "We learn from our mistakes, you can't win them all, everybody's wrong sometimes" — but these don't really help.

The Myth of Positive Thinking

People tend to use the phrase, "Think positive" as not thinking at all about what can go wrong. This kind of attitude usually leads to more failures, because people are lulled into a sense of security and fail to see the pitfalls in front of them.

People need to learn how to fail. Everyone does fail at some time, but it is a major problem only if they let one failure defeat them altogether or if it keeps them from attempting new ventures.

Failing Well

How many people can lose a big business deal and say, "That was great. I learned something from it and am better for it." Unless we can say it - and really mean it - we probably weren't learning that much from the experience.

It may come as a surprise to hear that truly successful people not only have failed, but also are good at failing. Studies have found that we may have been lucky if we were forced to fail. One might even say that a key to success is learning to fail well.

A professional sports team is a good example. Losing not only doesn't permanently defeat them; they usually profit by that loss and learn to accept it. This doesn't mean they stop trying. Many people consider themselves failures when they really have just quit trying. We cannot "cop out" on our problems, because copping out can only leave us feeling inadequate.

What Are We Afraid Of?
To analyze the reasons why we feel pressure or anxiety about failure, we have to understand that it is the fear of failure that hurts far more than the failure itself. Actually, it is the fear of not being sure what will happen. Most of us can learn to accept and deal with the worst if we really know what's coming. We may not like it or look forward to it, but we can handle it. Not knowing is a different story. It creates anxiety, vacillation and a very gut level desire to escape the whole problem. Each of us is different in the things we fear, and to analyze the reasons we are pressured by the fear of failure we have to find out what kinds of failure bother us. There are many kinds of motivations, values and goals and ways we might not live up to our expectation. A few common fears might serve as examples.

Blowing Up Problems Out Of Proportion

We don't take it very literally when a teenage says, "If such and such happened, I'd just die," but the fear is a real one. It basically says that we need a certain amount of "something" to make life worth living. It might be the need to be admired, appreciated, or just accepted by others. But, we have to do certain things to be held in esteem by others.

Being accepted, for instance, implies that there are some general rules or norms to be followed. If we try to take these rules automatically as a right way to be, we won't be able to live up to all of them and we will continually feel inadequate.

Setting Unrealistic Expectations

Another fear centers on the need to be unique in some way — a need to be better than others. It is extremely unlikely that any one person can be better than all the other 6 billion people in the world in anything. If we feel we have to be better than somebody else, rather than just being the best we can, we are doomed to be a constant failure until the day we die. It is also a good point to remember that, even if we made it to the top, it wouldn’t be long before someone else came along who would better us.

Other common fears in this category include the fear of losing or of being beaten by the guy in the next office or the next sales call, the fear of being rejected, the fear of being controlled or hemmed in. There are many others, of course, each as potent to those who feel them as the next.

Strategies to Overcome Pressure and Beat the Fear of Failure

The question is often asked of psychologists, "I can see why I feel the pressure, but what can I do about it?" And usually the person thinks he's being kidded when the answer is, "Tell someone all about it and then use your imagination."

Basically two things happen when we begin to feel pressured. We get anxious or nervous and tighten up, and we begin to rely on our defense and escape mechanisms. Some of these mechanisms are: getting a lot of sleep but still feeling tired, coming home at night and getting lost in the TV or newspaper, or a hundred others.

Dealing with Symptoms Rather than Causes

The result of these mechanisms is that we begin to lose sight of the issues or problems by trying to put them out of our minds so they don't worry us so much. As the problems become vague, solutions become more improbable, and, unconsciously, that makes us more anxious. This is not a weakness. Biologically we are programmed to either fight or run in a pressure situation, just the way animals are. We are also programmed this way psychologically. We all tend to find excuses to justify our behavior before it happens and this is our way of running. Frequently, we try to rationalize behavior after it happens and this is how we fight back.

Healthy Failure
Reducing the pressure requires that we break the mental set that "success is equal to right and therefore equal to good, while failure is equal to wrong and, as such, is bad." We have to learn to accept failure as a normal healthy part of life. We all fail sometimes, and if we can learn to bend rather than break under the pressure of failure, we are much better off.

In order to reduce the pressure and make us feel better, it is vital to reduce the fear of the problem by bringing everything out in the open — and not only the facts of the problem, but also our feelings about it. Go ahead and let the feelings out - it is a healthy reaction and one calculated to relieve stress.

We Used to Call it Shell Shock

During WWII, the Allies found out that wounded Russian Soldiers were not suffering from "shell shock" in hospitals as much as American soldiers were. The Russians insisted on keeping even wounded men on the lines, and there were far fewer long-term problems, because the men were forced to face their fears and get past them rather than run away from them.

Once we face the realities of the problem, we can bring our imagination into play. We can imagine what the worst outcomes of the problem could be, and then think of alternatives open to us. Once a person realizes the worst and can develop alternatives, he is relieved of much of the terrible pressure of uncertainty.

Copping Out

Of vital importance, also, is not giving up. A good illustration of this is a salesman who knows that for every sale he makes, he will get ten rejections. If he starts his day with a rejection, he can say, "I'm probably not going to be able to do anything today, so I might as well knock off," or he can say, "One down, only nine to go until I make my sale." The latter will keep him on the job longer with a much more satisfying feeling and better sales.

The Basic Steps in Summary

1. Talk about it — with somebody who will listen and be neutral. Get it out — facts and feelings.

2. Imagine trying to overcome the problem and falling short of the goal (failing); then figure what the worst consequences would be and what could be done about them. Thus, if the worst does happen, you're at least prepared and if it doesn't, then you're relieved and probably pleasantly surprised.

3. We can give ourselves extra chances. An illustration of this might be the baseball team whose slogan is, "Wait till next year." Eventually their continued effort will pay off.

4. Have something to fall back on. For many people, religion is a back-up. They turn to it when they do fail, in order to ask for help. Other people develop strong personal relationships to fall back on realizing that a person can't do everything himself.

5. Most powerful of all - take the chance and face it. There is nothing better to reduce the fear of failure than having it happen and knowing what it can and can't do. We must face it, live through it and prove to ourselves we can survive it.

How to Cope With Arrogant People

2009-10-06T23:22:00.000+02:00

Arrogant people seem to think that they know everything and they can really get on your nerves. This is an approach to coping with them.

Steps

1. Assess the situation. Why do you feel that a person is being arrogant? Have they been condescending to you or have they never spoken to you? If there has not been an incident that showed you this person feels superior to you, don't assume he or she is arrogant too quickly. You might wrong him or her.

2. Know that arrogant people are really quite insecure. They seek to dominate and control because they are afraid of being dominated and controlled.

3. Enter an encounter with an arrogant person with the strong and confident realization that you are well and strong. There is nothing they can say or do that can undermine you. Your sense of confidence and self-worth will prohibit you from being vulnerable to an arrogant person's total inability to relate to others and the sometimes noxious or cruel things that come out of their mouths.

4. Try to ignore the arrogance of the person you encounter. Instead, probe for something you can enjoy about your encounter. Perhaps they do have some knowledge to impart. Perhaps they can tell an interesting story. Perhaps it's just enjoyable to find humor in their arrogance.

5. Use the encounter as an opportunity to improve your listening skills or tolerance.

6. Try to ignore anything that they say or how they act, and they will probably stop bothering you eventually.

7. Be honest. If this isn't working and the arrogant person is still getting on your nerves, tell them that you think they are being arrogant and really tell them how you feel. Don't shout or swear or insult them more than is necessary, because then you will just look evil.

8. If possible, ignore the arrogant person completely (not just their behaviour).
* If you must acknowledge them, generally speaking, in a group setting you can get away with addressing the group as a whole rather than speaking to the arrogant person specifically: For example, instead of saying,"Hi there, Wendy," say, "Hi there, everyone." Also, don't ask, "How are you?" as this might evoke a rude response.

9. If you work with a consistently rude and arrogant person, whenever you see them coming, suddenly be incredibly busy. Pick up the phone and pretend to be having a conversation. If they are specifically wanting your attention, keep them waiting for as long as you can get away with it. Have a column of figures handy to be added up three times over. When you finally do acknowledge them, do so in a distracted, brisk, impersonal way whilst commencing yet another task. For example, say something like, 'Right, what can I do for you," as you pick up the telephone receiver. This technique often works very successfully because you are, in effect, "putting the arrogant person in their place." This is the opposite of what they want.

Tips

* Generally, arrogant people won't listen to what you have to say, so sometimes you just need to smile and nod, comfortable in being the more secure person.

* When someone is just driving you crazy with their arrogance, you might ask them, very politely, "May I ask how you became such an expert on this subject? Did you study? Did you learn this from having a bad experience? Is there anything you know nothing about that I might be able to help you with?"

Warnings

* Ignoring an arrogant person may be effective in getting them to leave you alone but recognize that arrogant people have a way of taking up the air in a room. So even though they're not talking to you, you may still find them annoying to be around.

* Try not to get into any type of debate with them, because they'll never hear your side of the story and if they do, they will continually tell you you're wrong. Often times, arrogant people will try to make you feel insecure and at fault. He/she will do this in an attempt to demonstrate control over the situation. If this happens to you, do not get mad at all, that's what they want from you. Instead consciously understand their belittling actions and see their intended conclusion from their perspective. Act wise and in control, but don't escalate the situation by responding in an angry or hostile manner.

Are You Doing What You Really Want To With Your Life?

2009-10-04T18:45:00.002+02:00

Builders cling to a personal commitment that’s so compelling to them – something so important to them that they would actually do it for free – that they must do it despite popularity.

From this quote, I derive a simple test to know whether or not you are now doing what matters to you. Simply give honest answer to these two questions:

1. Will you keep doing what you do if you do it for free?
2. Will you keep doing what you do if it never becomes popular?

If your answers to both questions are yes, then you are doing what really matters to you. If you answer is yes to only one what of them, then you are doing something that somehow matters but it doesn’t really matter. If your answers to both questions are no … well, you can guess, right?

Now, some thoughts from me.

I believe many people would say no to the first question regarding their job. Many people doesn’t really like their job; they just do it for the money. Once the money factor is gone, there’s no reason to keep doing it. Considering this, no wonder many people do not have fulfilling life. I remember what Steve Jobs said:

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.

However, I think the second question is even harder than the first one. There are many people who are willing to do something for free as long as they get some sort of popularity. Open source movement comes to my mind as an example. The people writing open source software do programming for free so they certainly pass the first question. But many of them – consciously or unconsciously – look for reputation and approval for what they do. This is absolutely normal, of course. Everyone needs to be appreciated. But if someone does something that really matters, it will be so compelling that the urge to do it is even bigger than the need for appreciation.

Many famous painters fall into this category. They really loved what they did that they did it despite money and popularity. Many of their paintings become famous and expensive only after their death.

Doing something that somehow matters (passing one question) is not easy. But doing something that really matters is even much harder.

How to Stop Worrying

2009-10-04T18:32:00.003+02:00

Worry does not empty tomorrow of sorrow – it empties today of strength.

Corrie ten Boom

You need to know how to stop worrying if you want to live life to the fullest. Why? Because worry doesn’t do you any good. It won’t help you live a better life. It won’t make you feel better and more energized. Instead, it will make you less happy and less productive.

But how can we do that? How can we stop worrying? How to stop worrying Here are eight ways:

1. Focus on what you can control

Thinking about things you can’t control puts unnecessary burden on your mind. For example, why should you worry about how bad the economy is? There’s nothing you can do about it unless you are a key person in the government. No matter how much you think about it, nothing will change. So instead of worrying about it, focus on things you can control like building your network and increasing your value. Don’t worry about things you can’t do anything about.

2. Use your imagination positively

Worry is a misuse of imagination.
Dan Zadra

Your imagination is a double-edged sword. You can use it to dream big dreams and keep your motivation high, but you can also use it to discourage yourself. People often worry about something because they fill their imagination with all the bad things that might happen. The reality is often not that bad, but it looks worse and worse because they give it too much attention.

3. Expect good things to happen

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.
Benjamin Franklin

Not only should you use your imagination positively, but also you should expect good things to happen in your life. Instead of expecting something to fail, expect it to succeed. Instead of expecting people not to like you, expect them to like you. You should be realistic, of course, but always expect to be a winner in life.

4. Accept responsibility

You might make mistakes in the past and worry about the consequences. In this case, the solution is to accept responsibility. Don’t let your worry drag you down. Accept the responsibility and move on. You still have a lot of great things waiting for you.

5. Be grateful

It’s easy to focus on the few things that could go wrong that we forget about the many things that already go right. That’s why having an attitude of gratitude is important. It keeps your perspective in balance. It makes you realize that for one thing that goes wrong there are many more things that go right. Just start with these simple things to be grateful for.

6. Run your own race

Stop comparing yourself with other people. Comparing yourself with others will only drain your mental energy. You have your own race to run. Instead of comparing yourself with others, focus on being the best that you can be.

7. Simplify your life

The simpler your life is, the fewer things you could worry about. So instead of doing a lot of things, focus on the few things that are most fulfilling and give you the most return for your time and effort. Find your life purpose and use the 80/20 rule to choose the few important activities to focus on.

8. Have faith

You should focus on things you can control. But what about things you can’t control? What can we do to eliminate any worry about them? The answer here is faith. You need to believe that everything will go well no matter how bad it might seem. You need to believe that everything will come out better in the end. Having faith eliminates a lot of worries in your life. It gives you peace of mind.

How To Get Good Luck

2009-10-04T18:23:00.002+02:00

Lately I have been playing online Zynga texas holdem poker on facebook, and I get really lucky so I have been wondering what gives us good luck in life this is what I came up with.

What do you think it takes to get good luck? There are many opinions on this. One popular one is to prepare yourself so that you will be in the right position to capitalize on opportunities when they come. This is summarized in a Louis Pasteur’s quote that says “Fortune favors the prepared mind.”

But there’s an interesting take on it that I found recently in The Creative Habit by Twyla Tharp. There the author gives a simple tip to get good luck: be generous. You should be generous if you want to be lucky. In other words, you should make other people feel lucky to be around you.

The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Here are three reasons why:

1. The quality of the people around you reflects your quality
Twyla Tharp is a choreographer and this is what she writes: To be a great choreographer (or teacher), you have to invest everything you have in your dancer… Without that generosity, you’ll always hold something back. The finished work shows it, and your audience knows it.

2. People will reciprocate
Reciprocation is one of the weapons of influence described in Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini. The law of reciprocation is wired into us. Whenever someone does something good for us, we feel obliged to give back to her. The more you are generous, the more people are willing to reciprocate and the more opportunities will come your way.

3. You will be known as a value provider
Not only will the people whom you help feel obliged to reciprocate, but they may also tell their friends about you. They may tell their friends about how much value they get from you. That will attract these friends to come to you. They may then tell their friends and it becomes viral. All these people attracted to you means more opportunities for you.

Here are two things you should do to apply this principle:

1. Increase your value
Before you can give to others, you need to have something you can give. You need to have something that make other people want to come to you. If you have nothing, how can people feel lucky to be around you? So work hard to increase your value. Build your expertise in the field you choose and expand your network. Coincidentally, it means that you are also preparing for opportunities. By wanting to be generous you build yourself a “prepared mind.”

2. Share without holding back
Now that you have something worth sharing, what you need to do is sharing it without holding back. It may take practice to do that, but over time you will feel more and more comfortable to share what you know. Again, the key here is not just to give but to be generous.

How To Utilize The Power Of Words

2009-10-04T10:02:00.002+02:00

"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. watch your character; it becomes your destiny." — Frank Outlaw

We use words all the time, we use them to convey our ideas to other people and influence them. Countless leaders used words to motivate people and to ultimately cause them to behave in a certain way. What we aren’t always aware of is that words are influencing us the moment we utter them.

Did you know that Eskimos have more then one word to describe snow? It is believed that snow plays a bigger part in their lives, they have more experiences regarding it and therefore more words to describe it. You can learn a lot just from listening to someone else talk. For example if he uses the word fear or anxiety a lot it means that it’s probably a big part of his experience.

We all know how changing our job title to something like manager can improve our feelings even if we do the same job and earn the same salary. The only thing changed was the name that gave us a feeling of importance. When we feel better we are likely to preform better.

Words created a lot of our beliefs and they can also reveal them. For instance if someone says “I’m that way because…” or “if you go out without a coat you’ll catch a cold” they’re expressing their beliefs. Lets do a little experiment, say the word fear for 30 seconds. How do you feel? Are you afraid? To cancel the negative effect say the word love for a minute.

This exercise shows us that by changing our words we can instantly change how we feel and thus change how we act. I want to clarify that words just like emotions are an energy form they aren’t good or bad, However some words will assist you to achieve what you desire and others won’t.

Different people use different words to describe the same situations and therefore they experience different emotions which causes them to act differently. What changed wasn’t the event but rather the words they used.

When we use a certain word it becomes our experience even if it wasn’t at the beginning. We categorize our emotions to ease our thinking process, However by doing so we force the category on the emotion. For example if you felt uncomfortable and you called it fear it will become fear.

One of the reasons that people become similar to their friends and people that they spend a lot of time with is because they begin to use their friends words. Moreover If you don’t have a way of representing something then you can’t experience it. In some native American cultures there isn’t a word for lying, The concept simply doesn’t exist. As a result they never lie.
Words to use

In order to change our lives we need to know what words to use instead of the “negative” ones. In addition just like some of the native Americans we need to completely omit certain words from our vocabulary.

Instead of I hate something use I prefer something else. Instead of I fear something use I feel uncomfortable or excited when this happens. Instead of saying I’m angry say I’m slightly bothered. When someone asks you how do you feel or how do you do instead of saying OK you can say excellent or wonderful, That will surely change how you feel.

Instead of saying it stinks say it’s a little smelly. Instead of disappointment use delay. Instead of lonely use available. Instead of failure say feedback or learning. Instead of depression say not really at my peak.

These are just some of the examples you can use. Make it a game, play with it and try to come up with funny and positive alternatives. It will help you moderate your negative feelings and increase the positive. This doesn’t mean that you will never feel anger or fear, these emotions are useful in certain situations. It means that anger and fear won’t be your first choice.

What exactly is a winning team?

2009-09-29T11:02:00.000+02:00

I believe that every leader should strive to build a team that possesses the following three qualities of greatness:
Effectively achieving set objectives
This is the most basic requirement — getting the job done. The necessary conditions for this are cohesiveness, competence, and accountability of the team.

* Cohesiveness is essential for excellent team performance. Let’s say we want to put together a team of 10. What we want to see is that the team results will be much more than simply a sum of individual effort. Cohesive teams achieve that through sharing and building on each other’s strengths. Disjointed teams actually do worse than that because of the costs of coordination (meetings… you can tell how bad things are just by the amount of meetings an organization holds daily).

* Competence is an obvious point, but it is often confused with narrowly defined criteria for the immediate job at hand, applied to all team members equally.

* The sense of accountability motivates and sets an important framework (ethical, financial, strategic, tactical etc), within which the team makes everyday decisions. It is unmatched in power which it exerts on our performance and no coercion, no prospect of profit (material or not) come close in effectiveness.

A leader would be remiss if she relied on these conditions to occur automatically, yet how often do we see exactly that, management lamenting about their staff’s shortcomings without any attempts to rectify them? Too often!

Innovative

Superb teams develop and prosper through innovation. This is especially important in the era of globalization when the competition is fierce and the pressure to minimize costs is often overwhelming. Why can’t this team’s work be done as well, but cheaper, elsewhere? This question never comes up if your team’s innovative spirit is seen as a great asset, a jewel within the organization.

Enjoyable

We spend perhaps half of our waking hours with our colleagues. If this is unpleasant, so is a half of our life. To me personally, this isn’t an option. As a leader, I also understand that only those teams that are enjoyable to be a part of, are sustainable in the long run.
What to aim for (and why this is not happening)

Does my take on winning teams sound reasonable? Many more points can be discussed and added, of course, but the important question I would like to answer at this point is this: what qualities should one look for in people to create a winning team as described above?

Here are seven key qualities I look for. I can easily develop everything else, such as technical skills, communication, and domain knowledge. I have little control over these innate virtues.

#1 Intelligence: Nothing beats raw intelligence, the ability to think clearly, to frame one’s thoughts, to use appropriate examples, to abstract. Intelligent people create intelligent solutions. Intelligent people are interesting to work with.

The problem with traditional hiring today is that people are pre-selected for interviews based on some arbitrary measure of experience in the industry (why five years and not three or seven?) or the stated knowledge of a tool or technology (is your resume not full of buzzwords?). But how often do you see the requirement of intelligence?

#2 Integrity: As leaders, we put our utmost trust in people. As the experience of many political leaders suggests (President Obama’s effort in putting the Cabinet together is the most recent), integrity is not to be taken for granted and its lack in a subordinate can be very damaging indeed.

#3 Enthusiasm: Another powerful internal motivator, it cannot be taught. It is, however, said to be contagious. The upbeat take on life, events, and adversity is essential in today’s environment.

#4 Curiosity: The drive to learn, challenge, question, and try to understand is incredibly important if the team’s performance, growth, and the ability to innovate is of any significance at all. I don’t know how to develop it in someone lacking it. Do you?

#5 Diversity: One of the fallacies of hiring is approaching it as if people were screws — state the length, the diameter, the head shape, and the type of the thread, and expect them all to be the same for the immediate project at hand.

This approach is demeaning for the candidate and limiting (possibly, damaging) for the organization. Recently, an IT executive lamented on his efforts to find a job after being laid off. It seems, he said, that 20 years of diverse experience, solid leadership, and great results are not as important as whether he managed a particular system. This is the reality.

I look for people with complimentary skills and experiences, which not only make the team so much more powerful in terms of the breadth of collective knowledge, it also encourages teamwork and learning (we all need each other), and creates a team that delivers much more than a multiple of the individual effort.

#6 Teamwork. There is a small proportion of the population unable to work in a group. They may be great at what they do, highly intelligent, and have solid values, but it’s a team we are building, right?

#7 Sociability: What kind of people do you like to work with? Friendly, helpful, with a sense of humor? So do I.

2009-09-25T21:10:00.002+02:00

What is the Meaning of Life?

2009-09-23T10:43:00.002+02:00

What is the Meaning of Life?

Do you sometimes wonder what the purpose of life is? If you are not sure, you may be looking at life the wrong way. You may have a view of life as a path. But, there is another way to see life. Read on to find out what that way is. Let’s first take a look at the conventional way to understand life as a path. Do you see your life as a path? That’s an image that is often used in the realm of spirituality personal growth. I’m guilty of it myself.

This implies that we are struggling towards a pinnacle. We overcome hardship and climb up and up towards…well, towards what, exactly? In the spiritual realm we might say that we climb towards enlightenment, wisdom, awakening, or…what? In the realm of personal growth we might imagine that we are climbing towards, success, wealth, personal fulfillment, or …what?

We are pulled through life by promises like a donkey by carrots. We are always moving towards that pinnacle. First we go to kindergarten and then we look forward to primary school. We are told how wonderful it will be when we finally go to college. And then to university. Finally, as good citizens we embark on a career, a relationship, maybe a family. It seems that we are at last approaching the pinnacle of our life. (Jonathan Meads, made a funny cartoon clip that illustrates this. Do have a look at it here.)

What pinnacle? More often than not, the pinnacle turns out to be redundancy, or illness. And then – one day the sun goes behind a cloud – and we die. Just like that.Now, tell me again – where was that pinnacle?
Did I miss it?

The strange thing is that for a long time the pinnacle seems to be in the future. Just out of reach. Then, from one moment to the next, it seems to be in the past. You’re suddenly beyond it. You’re a ‘has-been’. And you can’t quite remember what the pinnacle should have been. All you know is that you’ve missed it.

That’s pretty depressing, isn’t it? But, stop!

What if life isn’t a path? What if life is a dot?

Yes, I said dot. A dot doesn’t have dimension. There is no before and after. The dot is now. This moment. Now. What if this moment right now is the pinnacle of our life? What if each moment is the pinnacle? That is, if we actually live it and don’t miss it through dreaming of the future.

What if the smell of fresh ground coffee is the pinnacle? What if the hug at the door as you go to work is the pinnacle? It would change things, wouldn’t it? We would focus on what we enjoy, and not on moving up in our career. We would surf more, and dance more, and sing more, and laugh more, and love more, and hug more.

We would feel the wind in our hair. We would watch the moon rise. We would bask in the sun. We would roll in the mud. We would play in the surf.

We would kick up our heels and feel free. Free to be a bit wild. Even zany. We would live with abandon.

We would enjoy that dot. The dot that is life. Let’s have a conversation: What do you think? How is your life? Are you on a path or on a dot?

How to live life to the full

2009-09-15T22:55:00.000+02:00

The 10 Most Important Things In Life

2009-09-15T22:46:00.001+02:00

I'm a relatively young man. I don't consider myself wise but I do pay attention more than most people my age.I love to tell stories, jokes, and in general my life is an open book. I love to have fun and tell those around me exactly what I'm thinking. Believe it or not when I am not talking I am doing something even more important, listening. I truly enjoy a good conversation and especially with those older. I give speeches and tomorrow is for a group of seniors and older. Everyday I look at older people and think, what have they done right and what did they do wrong? I have gathered it all from talking to seniors about what they did right and what they wish they had done.

1. Be patient
Money must be saved over a long period of time. Don't take high risks for quick returns. Investing is a marathon not a sprint.

2. Take the risks while you are young.
It is ok to take calculated high risks occasionally, but do them when you have time to make it up.

3. Don't gamble
Gambling is for the desperate and the poor. If you must, do small amounts and view it as
pure entertainment. You will never make money in the long run gambling

4. Stay healthy.
Good health keeps your mind sharp, your doctor bills low, you lifespan long, and lets you work more to make more money. Healthy people make more money

5. Laugh and Smile
See above. Happy people make more money.

6. Buy and car a keep it for many years or if you need a new one buy one a few years old.
A car is one of the biggest waste of money in our lives. People spend too much on new one. Should be buying newer used ones.

7. Everything in moderation.
I learned this from an older customer that used this as his mantra. He said he did everything in moderation from drinking to working. He said it was the key to life

8. Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty
The key to a happy marriage. A good marriage will help you save money or cost you a fortune if it goes bad. People stayed together longer in years past. They were a savings team.

9. Don't spend your money on worthless things.
Don't buy anything at the checkout counter, don't buy collectibles, don't buy all the worthless junk sold around you at the box stores.

10. Move
Stay active. The more you see the more you learn. The more learn the more ideas you have. The more ideas you have, the more chance you come up with something that will earn or save you money.
These are all my opinions as gathered by my ears. Some people may agree some may not but it's how I live my life. Enjoy

Change Just a part of life.

2009-09-15T15:49:00.000+02:00

I am believer of the fact that where ever we get life lessons, learn from them and implement in life.I save the motivating quotes so that I can refer again and again to align myself. Here are 5 quotes.

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
The difference between something good and something great is attention to detail.
Alleged impossibilities are opportunities for our capacities to be stretched.
We cannot change our past. We can not change the fact that people act in a certain way. We can not change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.
We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.

Be proud of your behavior. Rise above your emotions.

Our behavior separates us from the crowd. We can live consciously and make a real impact in life or fall prey to any emotion that comes along. How we behave is our choice, our decision as to which route we take. And this decision is moment by moment, day by day, constantly there before us to make. With thought, supported by our value system, we can travel the path that leads us to walk with pride through life. And in so doing, make a real contribution to life as a whole.

Behavior – behave with thought and feeling – live a meaningful life

Our behavior marks us for the type of person we are. For where else does the way we behave emanate from - from within us does it not? Where else could it come from? The way we act and the way we behave are products of the way we are, how we feel, how we think, and how we keep our emotions in check -amongst other things.

What can we say about the way we behave?

We live our lives in the ways we see fit. We can follow others or mark out our own path and follow that. If something does not work we try something else. And then we can revert back to what we were doing on a whim. Logical and contrary at the same time . . .

The ways we act are often responsible, both for our own efforts and their repercussions, but also for the effects on others and the world we live in. At other times we can get an idea in our head, sometimes emotionally directed, and we will allow nothing to get in our way.

We can be regular and easy going people, but also can be contrary and unpredictable. We follow rules and regulations, and yet can rebel against them at the slightest inclination.

What mark do we leave on life?

What is there to gain from a study of behavior? Sure we think, we consider, we act, but often it is our behavior that actually leaves its mark on our life and the things we do. It leaves our imprint. This may be good and positive or it may be bad and negative. It can be a complex phenomenon.

* our attitudes can determine our actions and our degree of success
* our conduct can advance our endeavors or force them into the mud where progress becomes problematical
* the way we function depends upon a lot of things but the way we behave is one of its major influences
* our manners are good when we behave well, but can be very poor if our behavior deteriorates
* our routines have a bearing on how we act and how productive we may be in life
* if we behave poorly our level of tact may well suffer and we may well end up saying things we should not have said as well as things we did not want to say
* our deeds may be on the poor side of helpful and be largely selfish in nature

We can see how things can deteriorate if we do not keep things in check.

Where does all this come from?

How we tackle things in life leads to our behavior. How we see things in life leads to the way we feel and think about things and hence to our behavior. How we act in life leads to certain behaviors being adopted.

Where we end up on life is in no small part down to the way we behave. The code we follow. The deeds we perform. And the way we conduct ourselves. How we handle situations and ourselves. How we manage our life. How we treat others and ourselves.

And why? It is clear that the things highlighted in the previous paragraph will play a major role in how we live, how we act, how we are in life.

How to lead a responsible, caring life?

How can we lead a responsible life? We need to have a firm and solid foundation for our life. We need to live our life from a sound basis. We need to live by good solid principles and standards. Then our behavior will be responsible, productive and satisfying.

What rules, principles or standards might we live by? We need

* to develop, refine and live by our own set of values
* to realize our virtues and let them support us
* to let ethics into our life and benefit from them
* to live by responsible standards and principles

And how can we live and behave on this basis?

We can learn

* to make good decisions
* to set goals and achieve
* to manage our life well
* to have a place in our life for self development and self improvement
* to look after ourselves with a good self care and self preservation program

And what can we develop to help us behave with responsibility?

We can

* become self reliant
* avoid self criticism and self deception
* become more self aware
* live with more self control and self discipline
* develop a good and supporting system of values

So, a possible secret - but no secret really - is to live by good standards and principles. And then to utilize them to help look after and take responsibility for our life.

We can then behave and lead a life that does not respond to circumstance, for that can play havoc with what we do and how we act. We can move to a life where we are confident and take the lead and then let our inner feeling of enjoyment and satisfaction motivate us to lead a productive and active life. A life of endeavor and contribution.

And we can truly enjoy our lives. And have a live of giving and not wanting to take. To do things, to behave, without continual thought for gain. To not put a price on good behavior, but rather to prize it. To give thanks for our ability to contribute to life as a whole. To be able to rejoice in the way we behave and the way we live our life.

Influence – the Key to Success

2009-09-14T17:44:00.001+02:00

"Pull the string, and it will follow wherever you wish. Push it, and it will go nowhere at all." – Dwight Eisenhower

"Before you can inspire with emotion, you must be swamped with it yourself. Before you can move their tears, your own must flow. To convince them, you must yourself believe."

– Winston Churchill

I just finished reading this book: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. I want to resume it, and to do so, I wrote this list of each important point Mr. Carnegie discuss in the book. The first time I ear about that book, I was skeptical. The title could seem selfish and pompous, but it is nothing like this. This book is about how to be more human and a good citizen; it is about being nice with people and how to work with them.

1. Do not criticize. “Criticism is futile because it puts a man on the defensive, and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a man’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses his resentment.” – Dale Carnegies. Related quotes: Criticism

2. Give honest, sincere appreciation. “Dr. Dewey says the deepest urge in human nature is ‘the desire to be important.’”. Related quotes: Compliments

3. Get the other person’s point of view and see things from his angle. The thing here is to give to your interlocutor what he wants, and not what you, you want. Related quotes: Desire and Others’ view point

4. Become genuinely interested in other people. Related quotes: Interest

5. Smile.

6. Remember names. “Remember that a man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in the English language.

7. Be a good listener. “Encourage others to talk about themselves”. Related quotes: listen

8. Make the other person feel important. “And do it sincerely”

This is the most important points he talk about in his book. However he added other sections that goes in that trend.

Twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it

2. Show respect for the other man’s opinions

3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically

4. Begin in a friendly way

5. Get the other person sating “yes, yes” immediately

6. Let the other man do a great deal of the talking

7. Let the other man feed that the idea is his

8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view

9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires

10. Appeal to the nobler motives

11. Dramatize you ideas

12. Throw down a challenge

Nine ways to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation

2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly

3. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders

4. Let the other man save his face

5. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in you approbation and lavish in your praise.”

6. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to

7. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct

8. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

How Helping Others Can Reduce Stress and Increase Happiness

2009-09-12T10:48:00.005+02:00

Help Yourself Find Happiness By Helping Others

Helping others brings good feelings to the giver and the receiver of the good deeds. Using your special gifts to help others can be a gift to yourself as you enjoy a self esteem boost for making others’ lives better, and make the world a better place. You feel more worthy of good deeds yourself, your trust in the decency of people is reinforced, and you feel more connected to yourself and to others. In fact, research shows that those who demonstrate more altruistic social interest tend to enjoy higher levels of mental health, above and beyond the practical benefits of receiving help and other known psychospiritual, stress, and demographic factors that you would expect.

Creating a balanced lifestyle that includes service to others can help you feel less stress as well, as you feel more connected to your spirit, more grateful for what you have, and less invested in the ‘rat race’ that causes stress for so many of us. The following articles can give you ideas and resources for how to create a life that includes more helping others.

* Finding Meaning Through Helping Others: Do you have a nagging feeling that something's missing? Many people find volunteering time, money or castoffs as a way to give life meaning.

* Follow Your Passion: Look within yourself and see what you'd like to be doing to help others, and then do it!

* Network For Good: This site can help you find volunteer opportunities in your area that fit your criteria.

2009-09-11T16:29:00.002+02:00

Real Love

How to Love

2009-09-11T13:56:00.002+02:00

Love is a strange thing. It can be the most amazing feeling in the world, or it can really hurt, but in the end love is something most, if not all of us, will face. While there are many different ways to define love and there are many different ways to love someone, here is a general guide to loving. What everybody needs is LOVE.

Steps

1. Say it. When you say the words "I Love You", they should carry with them the desire to show someone that you love them, not what you simply want to feel. When you say it make sure you really mean it and are willing to do anything for that special person.

2. Empathize. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Rather than impose your own expectations or attempt to control them, try to understand how they feel, where they come from, and who they are. Realize how they could also love you back just as well.

3. Love unconditionally. If you cannot love another person without attaching stipulations, then it is not love at all, but deep-seated opportunism (one who makes the most of an advantage, often unmindful of others). If your interest is not in the other person as such, but rather in how that person can enhance your experience of life, then it is not unconditional. If you have no intention of improving that person’s life, or allowing that person to be themselves and accepting them as they are, and not who you want them to be, then you are not striving to love them unconditionally.

4. Expect nothing in return. That doesn't mean you should allow someone to mistreat or undervalue you. It means that giving love does not guarantee receiving love. Try loving just for the sake of love. Realize that someone may have a different way of showing his or her love for you; do not expect to be loved back in exactly the same way.

5. Realize it can be lost. If you realize that you can lose the one you love, then you have a greater appreciation of what you have. Think how lucky you are to have someone to love. Don't make an idol of the person you love. This will place them under undue pressure and will likely result in you losing them.

What is that?

2009-09-10T13:54:00.001+02:00

A Motivational Video on Compassion, Love, Patience and Kindness. A powerful piece of communication skill demonstrated.

2009-09-09T23:09:00.003+02:00

A happy person can be a bit childlike at times. Try to live life with no regrets.

Discover How to Live a Happy Life

2009-09-09T23:03:00.001+02:00

Living a happy life is not something that we just know how to do. As we go on in life it almost seems as if people teach us how to live miserable lives instead of happy ones. The truth is that you are supposed to live a happy life. Here are 3 keys to help illuminate the road to a happy life.

1. Find out what makes you happy.
Ask someone to write down 50 things that make them happy and you will find that most people start struggling to come up with things after the first 10 or 20. If you don’t know what makes you happy then you don’t know what to work for to make you happy. Stumbling across happiness is like stumbling across a winning lottery ticket, it rarely happens. So what makes you happy?

2.Pursue what makes you happy.
Now that you know what makes you happy it’s time to start implementing a plan that will help you reach happiness. It’s great that you now what makes you happy now but information without action is useless. What actions will it take for you to be happy? A hint to doing this is making the entire actions dependant on you. If your happiness is dependant upon someone else you are on the wrong track. Don’t rely on other people to make you happy.

3. Learn not to stress.

Notice here that I said ‘learn’ not to stress. This may take some time but it’s important that you learn to not stress out over everything. Stress not only causes mental fatigue but it can also cause physical problems in your body. If necessary go to a stress management seminar and learn how to do this. The less stress that you have in your life the happier you will be.

How to Save a Team

2009-09-08T18:41:00.002+02:00

Great example of a real team Coach giving directions .

Team Building & Teamwork

2009-09-08T16:15:00.005+02:00

Untill I am able to upload powerpoints on this blog. Here is the text from one of the powerpoints I created on teamwork. I am still figuring out how to upload them to a blog but till then, hope these are useful.

Some Quotes
Coming together is a Beginning. Keeping together is a Progress.
Working together is a Success.
Teamwork divides the task and double the Success.
Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence wins championships.
There is no I in Teamwork.

"It's possible to achieve almost anything as long as you are not worried about who gets the credit."
– Harry S. Truman

10 Commandments for an Enthusiastic Team

1.Help each other be right – not wrong.

2.Look for ways to make ideas work – not for reason they will not.

3. If doubt – check it out. Don’t make negative assumptions about each other.

4. Help each other win and take pride in each other’s victories.

5. Speak positively about each other and about the organization at every opportunity.

6. Maintain a positive attitude no matter what the circumstances.

7. Act with initiative and courage as if it all depends on you.

8. Do every thing with enthusiasm – it’s contagious.

9. Whatever you want – give it away.

10. Don’t lose faith – never give up.

T.E.A.M Together Everyone Achieves More

Do you know what’s the name of this Bird ?
GOOSE

Fact – 1. As each goose flaps it’s wings it creates an uplift for the birds that follows. By flying V formation, the whole flock adds 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew alone.a)Common direction, sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier when they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

Fact – 2. When Goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back in to formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front of it.
b)We are willing to accept others help and give out help to others.

Fact – 3. When the lead Goose tires it rotates back in to the formation and another Goose flies to the point position.
c) It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership. People are interdependent on each other’s skills, capabilities, and unique arrangements of gifts, talents or resources.

Fact – 4. Geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.
d) In groups where there is encouragement the production is much greater.

Fact – 5. When a Goose gets sick, wounded or shot down, two Geese drop out of formation and follow it down to help. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly again. Then they launch out with another formation are catch up with the flock.
e) If we have much sense as Geese, we will stand by each other in difficult times as well as when we are strong.

How to improve the Teamwork

An Open Area – Information about me that is known by me and others.

A Blind Area – Information about me that is known by others not me.

A Hidden Area – Information about me that is known to me but not to any one else in the Team.

An Unknown – Information about me that is unknown to me and the rest of the Team.

We are most productive when we work with others in the Open Area. Misunderstanding are least likely to occur here because communication is clearest.
Fortunately the size of the open area can be increased.

Disclosure expands the Open Area in to the Hidden Area.

Feed back expands the Open Area in to the Blind Area.

Self discovery expands the Open Area in to the Unknown Area.

Always Remember this
Smooth roads never makes good drivers. Smooth seas never make good sailors. Clear skies never make a good pilots. A problem free life never makes a strong and good person. Have a tough but winning day ahead. Be strong enough to accept the challenges of life. Do not ask life, Why Me? Instead say Try Me.

Leadership Qualities

2009-09-08T15:02:00.002+02:00

Leadership Qualities

The 9 Major Causes of Failure in Leadership

2009-09-08T14:51:00.001+02:00

Not all of us are natural born leaders. Most of us are moving into leadership roles from a followers role. So we have to work at it very hard in order to be great at it. However, some of us will stumble along the way. For those of you that will stumble. You will battle the mistakes that come along with being a leader. There are 9 mistakes you must avoid in order to be the best leader you can be.

Inability to organize details
The first mistake is the inability to organize details. This is one of the most common mistake a leader can make. You must be very organized as a leader. Organization will allow you to schedule events and foresee possible problems. Also a leader that is too busy is not a true leader. A leader should never be to busy to help others.

Unwillingness to render humble services
Some leaders think and feel they are better then the people that follow them. They feel since they have moved into a leadership role that some tasks are below them. That there are some tasks they shouldn't have to perform anymore. A true leader will lead by example. They are not afraid to role up their sleeves and offer some elbow grease. When a situation gets tough and no one want to perform it. This is when a lead should take the reins and show their follows that no one is above the law. They are there to help them get through it. Whether by manual labor or mental brainstorming.

Expectation of pay for what they know
Avoiding this mistake will make the difference whether your business succeeds or fails. Leaders that feel they should get paid for what they know, instead of what they do are destined to fail. The world may start off paying you for what you know. However after the beginning if you don't perform that pay will be cut. In network marketing the great leaders get paid a lot of money for what they do. You have to take action in order to have longevity in that industry. Otherwise you will never make it off the ground.

Fear of competition from followers
The fastest way to grow your network marketing business is to help others achieve their goals. When you help others make a check, your check will get bigger. Ii is easier to have 100 people doing 30% of the work. Then it is for you to do 100% by yourself. So if you're always worried that one of your followers will by pass you in rank or pay. You will never achieve your goals.

Lack of Imagination
An imagination is crucial to entrepreneurs especially leaders. Without this trait, leaders will not be able to effectively handle emergencies as they pop up. They will also lack the creative planning to efficiently guide there followers.

Selfishness
There is no greater feeling then being noticed and honored for the hard work you have done. One of the quickest ways to create distrust and discernment in your followers is to except all of the praise. Whether you deserve it or not. Great leaders will always give the credit to his followers. Whether it was because of him or not. Always giving the credit to your followers will strengthen the trust and subconsciously make then want to work harder for you.

Disloyalty
Every leader will have chinks in their armor at some period in their leadership. However one chink you want to straighten out quickly would be disloyalty. A disloyal leader will create distrust issues amongst the team. Disloyal leader rarely create longevity, let alone wealth.

Emphasis of the authority of leadership
A great leader will lead with encouragement, not with fear. As a leader you never want to use your authority to impress your followers. A leader that leads with fear and impressing flare is leading by force. Throughout history such dictators like Hitler, Napoleon, and Stalin led by force. We all know want happen to them! Real leaders need not advertise there authority. They lead through their conduct of understanding, fairness, and know how.

Emphasis of title
Real leaders don't need a title to feel empowered and respected by others. Titles have a tendency to separate people by stator. A leader should always be accessible to anyone at anytime. Great leaders always have an open door policy and they check their ego's at the door. Leaders that emphasis their title have nothing else to show for.

So these are the 9 ways you can fail at leadership. You only need to be bad at one to invoke failure. Just remember everything take practice. Only a follow people are natural born leaders. The rest of us have to learn from mistakes to become a great leader. Don't believe for one second that you can never become a great leader. 80% of leadership is how you present yourself and act. Think and act like a leader and the rest will follow.

Leadership Development - The Easiest Way to Overcome Adversity

2009-09-08T14:41:00.002+02:00

Have you found that leadership development requires you to be able to deal with difficult people sometimes? In a perfect world, there would be no such people and you could focus on the more important aspects of leading such as building your vision and connecting with the people who can truly become a part of making it a reality. Ah, wouldn't that be nice? Ok, back to the real world. So how do we deal with adversity as leaders and perhaps even use it to our advantage? Well, surely there are no quick fixes in regard to leadership development; however there is an easy method which you can use to deal with difficult people.

The first is that the difficult person who you are dealing with is most likely someone who you cannot fire or get rid of. That would be easy and would not require any leadership development training or conflict management skills. However, since it is someone you have to deal with there is one thing which you will want to keep in mind as you are resolving an issue with them: That person has value to your organization in some way. That is the first thing that you want to focus on, you'll see why in a second.

The next thing which you do is address their behavior instead of attacking them and let them know why the negative behavior bothers you. This means that you point out what kind of consequences are likely to occur as a result of the behavior. What you have to realize is that every behavior has some kind of a positive motivation, maybe an emotional need which this person is trying to fulfill. The problem is that most of the time people have come to believe that the only way for them to get what they want is with some ridiculous or negative behavior. This is to your advantage because if you get them to look at the true consequences then you can get them to make a different choice.

People will often defend a negative behavior because of the needs which they are trying to fulfill in doing it. You will not win by fighting that battle; they are ready for you with their boxing gloves on. Instead, get them to consider the true consequences. This is usually quick to sober people up since most of the time when someone is doing something destructive or hurtful to others they are not thinking about the true consequences.

Telling someone what your concerns are also gets them out of the defense mode and into the problem solving mode with you. It is a total win win. Once you have addressed this, suggest an alternative and again let them know what you feel that the positive consequence of that choice may be. This changes their focus to the solution based thinking and makes them less likely to defend the behavior. Finally let them know WHY you would like to see the change: because you value them as a part of your organization or team.

While this may take some practice, making it a part of your personal leadership development and practicing it until it becomes a habit will bring you much success in dealing with adversity.

Ten Qualities of a Good Leader

2009-09-08T14:27:00.001+02:00

It is a moot issue whether leaders are born or created but one thing is clear that there are certain character traits which help an individual to become a great leader. The last century has witnessed some of the greatest of all world leaders. These leaders have always shaped our society in past and will help to shape our future also. A great leader is always a boon to society.
What all it takes to become a good leader? Here are ten qualities which can make an individual a good leader.

1. A leader should be Commendable and Exemplary. A good leader should be trustworthy so that people can follow him. He/she should live his life with honesty and integrity. He/she should live a life such that nobody can question his character.

2. A good leader is always enthusiastic about the cause of the people. He/she must have the capability to see what is good or bad for the people in the long run. He/she approaches a problem in a holistic manner and never believes himself/herself different from his people and subject.

3. A leader believes in discipline. He/she follows an orderly manner and routine but still he/she is tolerant. He/she takes decision keeping emotions and personal matters aside.

4. A leader has excellent logical and analytical skills. He/she looks each and every aspects of the situation before arriving to any decision and never loses his/her temper in difficult situations. He/she should think positively in each and every situation.

5. A leader should always focus towards his goals, what he/she has envisioned for and promised to his people. He/she should take each and every decision keeping in mind the people and his subject.

6. A great leader is proactive and committed to excellence. He always maintains high standard and acts as an idol for his/her followers. His/her personal and public life both are remarkable and stain free.

7. A leader inspires his team to achieve target and lead them to success. He/she brings best out of them in the time of crisis also.

8. A good leader is the one who can give people voice and direction.

9. A leader should be tolerant of uncertainty and should always remain tranquil, composed and persistent to his/her goals.

10. A good leader always keeps a cool head in times of crises and finds solutions to get everybody out of any difficult situation.
Some qualities discussed above are naturally present in individuals, right from the time of birth and some others are developed with experiences. The characteristics discussed can be strengthened and developed to become a good leader.

Why is Leadership So Important?

2009-09-08T14:19:00.002+02:00

You may have heard this as a kid, "there are leaders and there are followers." As a kid it probably didn't mean much, but think about it now as an adult. Is this true? Why or why not?
The fact of the matter is that the statement is true for the most part. Think about it for a second. Think about your job. Think about your family. Think about your relationships. There most absolutely are leaders and followers in all of those areas of your life.
Which one are you? Is this a choice that you make, or does it just occur?
Some people are born leaders and some followers, but everyone has the ability to be either one or the other.
Which one would you choose? Why?
Look at some famous people. Movie stars, comics, politicians, athletes, scientists, teachers. Do you think that these people have leadership qualities? Even those an athlete may have very strong legs, or this politician has a Harvard degree, or this comic is naturally funny they all still have leadership qualities that got them to where they are today.
Qualities such as persistence, dedication, drive, ambition, courage and mental fortitude. These people did what others would not. They took the steps. They made their own moves.
Think about some of your friends. Are any of these people leaders?
Are you a leader? Or are you a follower?
Well whatever your answer is you have a choice. If you are a follower then you absolutely have the choice to change into a leader. It will be tough though. You will have to come out of your comfort zone.
The highest paid people in the world are leaders without a doubt. Their income is a direct reflection of the value they hold and give back to the world.
So is it clear yet why leadership is so important in life?

If you are in a situation right now and want something more, or something better, chances are that you will have to become a leader. You will have to do what others aren't doing. You will have to say goodbye to status quo and do what matters most.

2009-09-08T00:16:00.001+02:00

Watch his eyes when he talks. That’s happiness at work right there.

Are you as passionate about your job? Do you know as much about your products/field? Do you care as deeply about making your customers happy and helping them make good choices? Are you as free to do things your way, rather than do what everyone else does?

If you are – kudos! I bet you’re happy at work.

If not, I humbly submit to you that you are wasting your work life.

This level of happiness at work is not reserved for a few special individuals who luck into the right career or the right genetic makeup for happiness. Anyone can get it. Anyone!

And it’s not just that you could. You should.

How to Feel Happy at Work 7 Secrets of a "Thank God It's Monday" Workplace

2009-09-08T00:05:00.000+02:00

by Roxanne Emmerich

What accounts for the difference between "Oh crap, it's Monday" and "Thank God it's Monday"? It's your happiness. And, for your own emotional and mental health, you need to feel happy at work.

It all boils down to seven habits that can change everything about the culture of your workplace.

1. Show up fully and commit with all your heart

At work, we think of home. At home, we think of work. Time to stop that. The first step toward a TGIM workplace is being present and accounted for at work. Thinking about being elsewhere leads to resenting where you are. While you are at work, commit to work with all your heart. This is what I call throwing your heart over the bar--committing 100 percent to the moment and task before you.

2. Communicate clearly

Use powerful and positive language about what you will do and the attitude you expect from others. If a TGIM workplace is your goal, take the time to make your communications clear on every level.

3. Go beyond the job description

Going beyond the job description happens when you pitch in and help others at work without expecting reward. Willingly share the load. If you're caught up on your tasks, help someone else who is crunching for a deadline. Instead of feeling like it's an extra burden, you will actually feel like you play a bigger role in your company than you ever did before.

4. Don't tolerate dysfunctional behaviors

Establish a zero-tolerance policy for talking behind another person's back. Then give each other permission to address conflict head-on, out loud, courageously and honestly. Create a trusting and open environment and watch the dysfunction ebb away.

5. Clean up your messes

Relationships are built on trust. Without that foundation, there is no basis for a relationship. We breach the trust each time we don't do what we said we would do. But here's the thing--that breach can be healed quickly IF you come back and clean up the mess. Acknowledge that the results are not okay then make a commitment to make things right and prevent a recurrence.

6. Live a life of profound service

Once you place yourself in the service of those around you--your family, your colleagues and your customers--every moment becomes imbued with purpose and significance. You will feel GOOD.

As you drive to work, begin thinking about how the work you do is serving others and contributing to their success and happiness. This is the essence of true service, and the key to a workplace that draws you happily back, Monday after Monday after Monday.

7. Celebrate

Every project consists of little steps and little victories along the way. Recognize and celebrate them in both large and small ways. Build a system of celebrations and rewards--quarterly, weekly, daily--and follow through like your company's life depends on it. Because, (psst) it does.

Acquire these seven habits and spread them through your workplace. Then be sure to notice the first Monday your hand reaches for the alarm--and you smile. You can love your job and feel happy at work if you follow these 7 secrets.

An incredible Story

2009-09-07T21:52:00.001+02:00

2009-09-07T14:36:00.002+02:00

Power Method #3) State Management

2009-09-07T14:02:00.001+02:00

“I’m not in the mood today, I’ll do it tomorrow.”
“I really don’t FEEL like doing that right now.”
Have you ever heard someone say these things? Perhaps you say them to yourself on a regular basis? The bottom line is that if you wait around to feel in the right mood or emotional state to do something, it’s most likely never going to happen. 99% of people in the world have no control over how the feel. They either wake up happy, or they don’t. They have a “bad day” or a “good day.” To these kinds of people it seems that the way we feel is some kind of mystical enigmatic force that we have no control over. Part of success is being able take ACTION despite FEAR, PAIN, and UNCOMFORT. Taking action even when you’re not in the friggen moooooooooooooooooood.(*whiny voice*) Instead of waiting for an emotional state to come to you, use state management methods to create the emotional state you need to achieve your goals.

Super-Charging Your Emotional State Your emotions are dependent on 2 primary factors:

1) What you focus on
2) What you do with your body

1. Changing Your Focus Example: Jill’s goal is to lose 50 lbs, after a week of working out 3 times per week and changing her eating habits, she steps on the scale and notices that she only lost 1 lb. Feeling like she isn’t moving towards her goal fast enough, she instantly begins to feel disappointed and discouraged about continuing her quest to lose weight.

“Don’t let the present moment determine your outcome!”

One of the biggest secrets of success I’ve learned over time is that the current moment has nothing to do with your outcome! Often we get caught up with a depressing situation, we focus on it to the point where the emotions get strong enough to stop us. At this point, instead of focusing on what seems like a failure to Jill, she could change her focus to the actual OUTCOME she wants.

Which is feeling great, sexy and attractive. Feeling free and healthy. As you change your focus in critical times that would usually stop you emotionally, you create incredible power to move despite discomfort!.

2. Using Your Body to Create Energy!

Changing your focus is just “positive thinking”, until you add this method into your state management arsenal. The fastest and easiest way to create an emotional state shift in your mind, and to give your body the energy it needs to propel you to your goals, is to make a drastic change in what you’re doing with your body. You’ve got to move fast, you’ve got to get your heart rate going, and you’ve got to make it impact!

Power Method #2) Chunking

2009-09-07T13:26:00.003+02:00

The second reason why people don’t take action on what they want to achieve TOO BIG inside of their head. Often a simple goal like going to the gym to work out becomes a number of PAINFUL things.

1. I have to go get the keys to my car.

2. I have to put my work out clothes on, and iron them because they’re all wrinkly.

3. I gotta go to my car and drive there through traffic.

4. Once I get there they’ll make me sign up for a membership.

5. Once I am signed up they’ll give me a 2 hour tour of the place and try to upsell
me even more membership options which I don’t want!

6. Then I gotta work out for an hour, and I’ll get all sweaty.

7. I have to drive home with all that sweat on me.

8. Once I’m home I’ll have to shower, and by then I’ll have no time to do anything else!

“Forget it! I’m watching TV!

Going to the gym is too complicated and too painful” Chunking, and the Rule of 3s Our conscious mind can usually hold only a number of things to do at once. Whenever there is more things to do than the conscious mind can handle, we feel overwhelmed and stop everything completely.

What I realized after a while is that nothing is really as big as we make it out to be. We just have a habit to make things bigger than they are.
The above gym example could be brought down to three simple steps:

1. Go to the gym

2. Work out

3. Feel great and energized!

Whenever you find yourself feeling blocked or procrastinating, think of the way you are chunking down the goal into steps? Are you thinking of ALL the things you have to do, and how PAINFUL they will be? If you are, chunk them down into 3 steps. As you focus on these steps, you’ll find you’ll feel much more balanced and relaxed about the goal!

Power Method #1) Pain and Pleasure

2009-09-07T13:03:00.002+02:00

If you learn nothing else this year but this concept, your whole life will change. The person who has popularized this concept and changed thousands of lives with it most is Anthony Robbins. (www.tonyrobbins.com) The human mind is consciously and subconsciously motivated by two basic forces.
1. The need to AVOID PAIN
2. The need to GAIN PLEASURE.
If you think about it, every single action you take in your life is driven by the need to avoid pain, and the need to gain pleasure. The need to avoid pain is always STRONGER than the need to gain pleasure.    For example: If you have $10,000 and you have two options Choice a) Go for a 4 day trip to Hawaii. Choice b) Pay $10,000 to remove a tumour from your brain. Allow me to give you a powerful example of how to instantly apply this into your life to start creating results TODAY. Here’s a personal example of how I used this concept . I had been planning to finally write something about my research about a month, but I kept on putting it off, why? Frustrated with a lot of things in my life, I decided to give this Pain & Pleasure concept a Try.

I drew a PAIN and PLEASURE graph like the one below of my current situation, and then drew one of the outcomes I wanted. Current Situation: PAIN    PLEASURE
1. Writing would take too much time… I don’t have time
2. It would be super stressful, I would have to stay up at night and do even more
research on how to create and write this so it’s perfect.
3. What if I write it and no one will read it? It will be a waste of time .

Pleasure 1. When I am finished I could help a lot of people with the information and improve other’s lives.

As you can see, my need to AVOID PAIN was pushing me in the direction not taking any action. It’s also known as “procrastination”. The only difference between people who procrastinate and people who succeed with taking action, is the associations of PAIN and PLEASURE they have with doing something. I look at my pain and pleasure sheet, and thought of how I could focus my associations to push me into taking action instantly.

I wrote a new pain and pleasure sheet I created immense pain around NOT DOING the tasks, I clearly wrote out and visualized how this would look and feel. The pain of NOT WRITING this was now greater than the one of writing it. My values of contributing to the world and creating something special were now at stake. To further hammer the nail in, I clearly described the immense pleasure visually, emotionally, of how it will feel when the task is done. With all the arrows in my mind pulling me away from pain and into pleasure, I was on my way that very same minute. You’re reading this article now as a result of that PAIN & PLEASURE sheet I wrote down! This concept is so powerful, I urge you to do it as soon as you’re done reading this article. Take at least one action you’ve been putting off in your life, whether it is a goal to lose weight, to create more money, or improve a relationship. Take that action, create a pain and pleasure sheet and see how rapidly motivated you will be to achieve that goal.

The 3 Most Powerful Ways to Get Yourself to Achieve ANYTHING Despite Pressure, Deadlines, and “Procrastination”

2009-09-07T12:30:00.004+02:00

How free and energized would you feel if you had the power to motivate yourself to do ANYTHING, stop procrastinating, and achieve all your goals in record time? Have you ever had a concrete plan to succeed at something, but for some “inner” reason what you planned to do never got done? We all have plans and huge dreams when we’re young, but very few people ever get past the point of taking ACTION on those dreams? Is it because people are lazy? Or is there an inner science to achievement? My mission is to deliver you cutting edge information to help you super-charge your life, not just your sleep system. So in this issue of the Peak performance newsletter, I’d like to deliver to you 3 of the most powerful and impacting ways to conquer self-sabotage and get you to where you want to be in your life at lightening speed. I have personally used these tools in my life and the results have been mind-blowing. Here we go! What is Success? People have many different definitions for success and failure. I’d like to give you my own definition before we move on. Success happens whenever you decide to do something and you DO IT. Or whenever you decide to NOT DO something and you DON’T do it. I know it sounds simple, but 99% of people can’t even do just that! Sure, everyone talks a lot about doing things, but hardly many people actually take action on what their supposedly high priority goals and dreams are. I know I’ve been in the same place! One of the most important concepts I’ve learned in my life is that 90% of Success is taking ACTION on the goal you have. 10% is the mechanics, knowledge, or resources you need to succeed. Whatever you want in your life, you have the power to acquire the knowledge, to get the mechanics or resources you need, it’s taking action on that goal that is the biggest obstacle on the road to success in most people. If anyone can succeed, and all it takes is ACTION, why doesn’t everyone take action to achieve their goals everyday?

2009-09-07T01:34:00.004+02:00

Success Begins After You Fall By Mike Brescia

Today’s your day.
I’m convinced of it. It’s your day. And today you’re going to get up all your courage and just do what you’ve been aching to do.
Just before you begin taking the first actions in attacking your challenge, you might be shaking like a leaf. I don’t know.
But it’s at that moment, when you’re feeling the most frightened that you’ll be making your biggest strides. Because today, you’re not going to back down. You’re going to take a deep breath and go forward.
Are you guaranteed success? Will you reach your goal for sure? Will you absolutely get the outcome you’re hoping for?
Not a chance…
But you’ll prove to yourself and everyone that thinks that sometimes you’re a dead person who just hasn’t been buried yet, that you’re alive and starting to kick.
People who know me well can tell you that I have failed at more things than I have succeeded at. But every time I get thrown for a loop, I immediately jump up. I ask myself what I should learn from it. And if I have to, I start completely over.
So many years after my “awakening,” I’m still growing as fast as I ever have.
I remember my football coaches yelling at me after getting knocked down to “Get up! The play’s not over yet!”
It’s true…
In your own life, when you make a mistake or get laughed at, if your immediate response is to put your head down and start crying, you won’t be able to see the next opportunity that’s passing right in front of you, riding in the wake of your agony.
Get up!
I’m your coach now. Don’t you dare give up. Not while I’m breathing will you ever again put your tail between your legs and turn away from what might be your greatest accomplishments. I won’t accept that from you.
Not from you. You’re too good.
Is that an odd way to describe your failure and humiliation?
Well, whenever you’ve succeeded at getting your way at just about anything, it’s rarely been on the first try. Right? It’s usually been after being told ‘No’ a few times, or screwing something up a bunch of times before finally getting it right.
Well, isn’t that true?
Take that template for success and place it over everything you want to do. Everything.
When you think about some goal that seems quite a stretch for you, and the thought comes in that says, “I couldn’t do that,” stop and place your previous success template over it. Know that no matter how big it is, if you just “remember” that, while it might be difficult, you can do it. And you’re already half way there.
Do this all day today. “I can do it” needs to be your mantra.
If you do, I promise you that your muscles will be stretched. Your mind will be stretched. And those goals that “looked” impossible will suddenly seem do-able.
It’ll be like you’ve been given a new pair of eyes. Don’t just sit there… Get up. Today’s not over. It’s your day. Tomorrow may never come. Today is your whole life. Do what you fear today. You may never have another chance. Take your shot. Oh heck. Take 20 shots. And take them all today.

2009-09-07T00:58:00.000+02:00

Anthony Robbins (born February 29, 1960) is an American self-help writer and professional speaker who has been active for over 30 years. He became well known through his infomercials and bestselling self-help books, Unlimited Power: The New Science Of Personal Achievement and Awaken The Giant Within. The first edition of Unlimited Power was published by Fawcett Columbine (Ballantine Books) in 1987.^[2] Robbins writes about subjects such as health and energy, overcoming fears, persuasive communication, and enhancing relationships. He also became well known in America and internationally through infomercials promoting personal development audio programs and motivational seminars. His audio programs, seminars and self-help products featured Neuro-linguistic programming and Ericksonian hypnosis which he studied at the start of his career. ^[3]^[4] Robbins seminars also used firewalking as a metaphor for overcoming fears and limiting beliefs. Later, Robbins combined his skills and techniques with other methods claimed to effect personal change.

2009-09-07T00:54:00.001+02:00

Free From Stress Part 1

2009-09-06T22:25:00.004+02:00

Stress is your typical day at work, one person copes with the pressure, the other person gets a mental breakdown. People all over the world these days have to deal with copious amounts of stress. Our lives are more hectic than ever. Between work, family and other commitments, it's completely understandable that a lot of people are so depressed and anxious. So what can we do to deal with this stress? Abandoning our jobs and families isn't an option so we have to find a way to cope..Although each person is different, there are ways to cope and ways to overcome these problems, But first we need to know what can trigger the stress for you. There is a difference between stress and pressure. A bit of pressure isn't bad as it gets the job done. Although when you get to the point that your stressed there are a few things you might want to do.

Identify the cause of your stress. Is your heart pounding because that idiot just cut you off on the freeway, or is it because of that presentation you have to give to your boss this afternoon? Think for a moment and try to figure out what’s really bothering you.
Choose your response. Even if you’re powerless to change the source of your stress, you have the power to choose how you’ll respond to it. The appropriate response to stress should depend on what’s causing it: you can either shake off your stress (ignore it and let it go immediately) or face it head-on. In order to choose your response, ask yourself some questions.
- Does it matter? Yeah, it’s all small stuff, but some stuff is smaller than others. Consider how long the source of stress will affect you. That idiot driver will be gone in a moment if you just let him keep speeding down the road, but the death of a loved one may affect you for years.
- How much control do you have over the situation? You can’t control the rain that’s ruining your wedding, but you can control how well you do on your algebra exam tomorrow.
- Is the source of stress in the past, present, or future? You can’t change the past, but you can respond to the present and prepare for the future. Let your past troubles fade.
Shake it all off. If a situation is beyond your control, or if it just isn’t that important, stop worrying about it. Easier said than done? Just do it.
- Inhale deeply through your nose. In your mind, count to five seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth, for another five seconds. Repeat this breathing pattern until you feel comfortable with it.
- Think about something else. Get your mind off the stress by thinking about something that makes you happy, such as your kids or spouse (provided they’re not the cause of the current stress), or by concentrating about the things you have planned for the day.
- Visualize relaxing things, such as a deserted island or a country road. Close your eyes and try to picture even minor details about the imaginary place, and you can put yourself in that situation instead of the one you’re in.
- Get away from the cause of the stress. If you can physically escape the stress trigger, do so. Leave the room or pull off the road for a moment to put things in perspective.
- Get some exercise. Whether you go for a run, do calisthenics, do yoga, or lift weights, 10-20 minutes of physical exercise every day can relax you even when "nothing can". Getting plenty of exercise also helps you respond better to stress in the long run.
Face your stress source head-on when you're ready. Getting stressed is not going to resolve the situation. Sitting around worrying is a good way to procrastinate, but procrastinating will only prolong or intensify the stress. Facing your stress head-on is really just a way to shake off a bad situation that you cannot or should not ignore. If you can change the outcome of a situation that matters to you, the quickest way to overcome that fear or to empower yourself is to take action as quickly as possible. Once you’ve resolved the underlying problem, you can shake off the stress because it no longer matters. The steps below will help you. If you feel paralyzed, use the steps above to relax and temporarily distance yourself from the situation just long enough to be able to see it clearly.
Make a plan. Sometimes you can resolve a stressful situation right away with one action, but often you’ll need several steps, perhaps over a long period. Write out a plan with attainable goals and a time line for reaching those goals. Additionally, many stressful situations are avoidable. If you prepare ahead of time for important events and make contingency plans, you may not have to cope with as much stress later. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Take one step at a time. A complex problem can be overwhelming, even when you’ve got your plan mapped out, but remember: the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Just focus on one small goal at a time.
Be realistic. If you continue to experience stress because no matter how hard you try you can’t take the steps quickly enough, you probably haven’t set realistic goals. In a culture that values a can-do attitude, it can be hard to accept that sometimes you can’t do something, at least not within a given period of time. If that’s the case, revise your time line or lower your expectations. If you can’t do that, the situation qualifies as one which you can’t control. Learn from your experience, but let it go.

Remind yourself that without negativity, stress, sadness or depression in life, there wouldn't be joy, excitement or happiness in life. It's like the yin and yang; they'd simply not exist without each other. It's true that nobody has an easy life forever. Trouble comes to everyone sooner or later. It's all a natural part, a cycle people have to go through in life.
Focus on someone else who is in the same situation as you and try to tune in to that person’s calm. Remember that if he or she isn’t nervous, you probably don't have to be.

Welcome to my blog.

2009-09-06T20:12:00.001+02:00

As the title suggests, this blog is aimed at improving life and giving the secret to what we all want: — success, be it that of your aspirations. Were going to touch al different topics such as improving people’s habits to inspire individuals to act in first person by promoting initiatives for a real change.
I wont be the first to admit that change is difficult, to set the wheel of change around is going to take time and alot of self will. But you know what?We are much more capable then we think and all it takes is realizing our full potential. So heres to looking at ourselves in a new light

Do we want to know the truth about ourselves? About the world around us? About our place in the cosmos?

“Of course,” is the automatic response.
“Yes and no,” is the reality.
This blog is about crafting full, rich, creative, and enjoyable lives for ourselves — lives that are significant, lives that contribute in some way to the world around us. The course is rooted in the idea that some steps toward wisdom require nothing more than a fresh look at common life situations, nothing more than an appreciation of the difference between skillful and unskillful ways of dealing with those situations.
I have put together compilations from books and articles that have spoken alot to me. As you read the compilations put here, feel free to comment, share your mind as you see fit. And if you would like a certain topic covered feel free to let me know.