Influence – the Key to Success

"Pull the string, and it will follow wherever you wish. Push it, and it will go nowhere at all." – Dwight Eisenhower

"Before you can inspire with emotion, you must be swamped with it yourself. Before you can move their tears, your own must flow. To convince them, you must yourself believe."

– Winston Churchill

I just finished reading this book: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. I want to resume it, and to do so, I wrote this list of each important point Mr. Carnegie discuss in the book. The first time I ear about that book, I was skeptical. The title could seem selfish and pompous, but it is nothing like this. This book is about how to be more human and a good citizen; it is about being nice with people and how to work with them.


1. Do not criticize. “Criticism is futile because it puts a man on the defensive, and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a man’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses his resentment.” – Dale Carnegies. Related quotes: Criticism

2. Give honest, sincere appreciation. “Dr. Dewey says the deepest urge in human nature is ‘the desire to be important.’”. Related quotes: Compliments

3. Get the other person’s point of view and see things from his angle. The thing here is to give to your interlocutor what he wants, and not what you, you want. Related quotes: Desire and Others’ view point

4. Become genuinely interested in other people. Related quotes: Interest

5. Smile.

6. Remember names. “Remember that a man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in the English language.

7. Be a good listener. “Encourage others to talk about themselves”. Related quotes: listen

8. Make the other person feel important. “And do it sincerely”

This is the most important points he talk about in his book. However he added other sections that goes in that trend.

Twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it

2. Show respect for the other man’s opinions

3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically

4. Begin in a friendly way

5. Get the other person sating “yes, yes” immediately

6. Let the other man do a great deal of the talking

7. Let the other man feed that the idea is his

8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view

9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires

10. Appeal to the nobler motives

11. Dramatize you ideas

12. Throw down a challenge

Nine ways to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment


1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation

2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly

3. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders

4. Let the other man save his face

5. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in you approbation and lavish in your praise.”

6. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to

7. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct

8. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

How Helping Others Can Reduce Stress and Increase Happiness

Help Yourself Find Happiness By Helping Others

Helping others brings good feelings to the giver and the receiver of the good deeds. Using your special gifts to help others can be a gift to yourself as you enjoy a self esteem boost for making others’ lives better, and make the world a better place. You feel more worthy of good deeds yourself, your trust in the decency of people is reinforced, and you feel more connected to yourself and to others. In fact, research shows that those who demonstrate more altruistic social interest tend to enjoy higher levels of mental health, above and beyond the practical benefits of receiving help and other known psychospiritual, stress, and demographic factors that you would expect.

Creating a balanced lifestyle that includes service to others can help you feel less stress as well, as you feel more connected to your spirit, more grateful for what you have, and less invested in the ‘rat race’ that causes stress for so many of us. The following articles can give you ideas and resources for how to create a life that includes more helping others.

* Finding Meaning Through Helping Others: Do you have a nagging feeling that something's missing? Many people find volunteering time, money or castoffs as a way to give life meaning.

* Follow Your Passion: Look within yourself and see what you'd like to be doing to help others, and then do it!

* Network For Good: This site  can help you find volunteer opportunities in your area that fit your criteria.

Real Love

How to Love

Love is a strange thing. It can be the most amazing feeling in the world, or it can really hurt, but in the end love is something most, if not all of us, will face. While there are many different ways to define love and there are many different ways to love someone, here is a general guide to loving. What everybody needs is LOVE.






 Steps

1. Say it. When you say the words "I Love You", they should carry with them the desire to show someone that you love them, not what you simply want to feel. When you say it make sure you really mean it and are willing to do anything for that special person.

2. Empathize. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Rather than impose your own expectations or attempt to control them, try to understand how they feel, where they come from, and who they are. Realize how they could also love you back just as well.

3. Love unconditionally. If you cannot love another person without attaching stipulations, then it is not love at all, but deep-seated opportunism (one who makes the most of an advantage, often unmindful of others). If your interest is not in the other person as such, but rather in how that person can enhance your experience of life, then it is not unconditional. If you have no intention of improving that person’s life, or allowing that person to be themselves and accepting them as they are, and not who you want them to be, then you are not striving to love them unconditionally.

4. Expect nothing in return. That doesn't mean you should allow someone to mistreat or undervalue you. It means that giving love does not guarantee receiving love. Try loving just for the sake of love. Realize that someone may have a different way of showing his or her love for you; do not expect to be loved back in exactly the same way.

5. Realize it can be lost. If you realize that you can lose the one you love, then you have a greater appreciation of what you have. Think how lucky you are to have someone to love. Don't make an idol of the person you love. This will place them under undue pressure and will likely result in you losing them.

What is that?

A Motivational Video on Compassion, Love, Patience and Kindness. A powerful piece of communication skill demonstrated.

A happy person can be a bit childlike at times.  Try to live life with no regrets.

Discover How to Live a Happy Life

Living a happy life is not something that we just know how to do. As we go on in life it almost seems as if people teach us how to live miserable lives instead of happy ones. The truth is that you are supposed to live a happy life. Here are 3 keys to help illuminate the road to a happy life.

1. Find out what makes you happy.
Ask someone to write down 50 things that make them happy and you will find that most people start struggling to come up with things after the first 10 or 20. If you don’t know what makes you happy then you don’t know what to work for to make you happy. Stumbling across happiness is like stumbling across a winning lottery ticket, it rarely happens. So what makes you happy?

2.Pursue what makes you happy.
Now that you know what makes you happy it’s time to start implementing a plan that will help you reach happiness. It’s great that you now what makes you happy now but information without action is useless. What actions will it take for you to be happy? A hint to doing this is making the entire actions dependant on you. If your happiness is dependant upon someone else you are on the wrong track. Don’t rely on other people to make you happy.

3. Learn not to stress.

Notice here that I said ‘learn’ not to stress. This may take some time but it’s important that you learn to not stress out over everything. Stress not only causes mental fatigue but it can also cause physical problems in your body. If necessary go to a stress management seminar and learn how to do this. The less stress that you have in your life the happier you will be.