How to Relax and Be Happy During Hard Times

How to Relax and Be Happy During Hard Times

By Wil Langford 

Knowing how to relax and be happy, no matter what is happening around you, is a real gift. There have been real life accounts of people who were rich and healthy, who seemed to lead an ideal life, and yet, they were unhappy or sad. On the other hand, there have also been accounts of people whose lives were hard, even painful, and yet, they were happy. How can this be?

The reason for these paradoxes is that happiness and sadness are not determined by circumstances, but by our state of mind. 

That may be one of the greatest gifts of life and each of us may partake of it merely by learning how to focus on things that bring peace, relaxation, happiness. Whatever we focus on will determine our mental, emotional, and even physical state. Of course, there are some limitations, but I have rarely found a person who couldn't be happier or more relaxed.

I learned the value of focusing my mind many years ago when I had to overcome a very big challenge. I had a young family to support and managed to land a job in a shipyard repairing submarines. It was a good job with health benefits and security that I needed for my wife and son. However, I was assigned to the torpedo room and was told that I would be working inside tanks and even inside the long torpedo tubes. I had suffered from pretty severe claustrophobia all my life and had omitted to mention that when I got hired because I was afraid I wouldn't get the job if I brought it up.

For those of you who may never have been on a submarine, particularly a small, fast attack submarine, let me describe it for you. Every square inch of space in a submarine is precious and almost every part has equipment and pipes in the way. Humans are the last piece of equipment to be added and therefore, we have to work around all those pipes, wires, machines, pumps and gear. Worse yet, a torpedo tube is a long metal pipe, like a big gun barrel, with a door on each end. At one end is the torpedo room and at the other end, the ocean. It is cold, dark, and so small you have to crawl in and out. There isn't enough room to turn around in a torpedo tube so if you crawl in headfirst, you are looking at the dark end.

The first day I went into the torpedo room, my boss asked if I was afraid of tight places. I tried to hide my fear and said, "No." He then told me to crawl inside the torpedo tube with an inside micrometer (a measuring device) to measure at certain intervals the entire length of the tube. I was afraid that I would panic once in the tube, but managed to crawl inside with my drop light and micrometer, pen and paper. Then, a thought occurred to me. Maybe if I kept focused on measuring and writing, I wouldn't notice the tight spot or think about a panic attack.

I crawled to the far end of the tube, about 30 feet away, all the while thinking about the job and how to do it. Before I knew it, I was at the far end of the tube. I put the light down and started measuring and writing the measurements on the paper. When I say I focused, I mean I really focused, consequently, I did a great job. Unfortunately for me, I did such a good job that I wound up working in those torpedo tubes day after day, measuring and grinding them back into shape.

I crawled all over those submarines during the next two years, in tighter spots than the torpedo tubes, too. My method was always the same, just focus on what you want to do and do it. The fact that I was also studying meditation and learning how to focus was a great help to me, as well. It was a valuable life lesson about how your surroundings have less to do with your feelings than your attitude and desire. My desire was to provide for my family and myself, even if it meant doing something difficult and fear producing, my attitude was that I could do it if I focused on the job.

It may be the same for you. Focus on what you want in life. I am not talking about material things, but rather, the feelings you want. What thought makes you feel happy? You will only be as happy or sad as you feel and thoughts lead to feelings. While chemical changes in the body and brain do affect our feelings, our thoughts affect the chemicals in our bodies. Every thought that you have is an electro-chemical event in your body and produces polypeptides and hormones that affect how you feel, even your physical health. While clinical depression is a medical condition that does require medical care, for many of us, our thoughts and learning to use them for our own happiness, is all it takes to feel good even when times are bad.