What exactly is a winning team?

I believe that every leader should strive to build a team that possesses the following three qualities of greatness:
Effectively achieving set objectives
This is the most basic requirement — getting the job done. The necessary conditions for this are cohesiveness, competence, and accountability of the team.


* Cohesiveness is essential for excellent team performance. Let’s say we want to put together a team of 10. What we want to see is that the team results will be much more than simply a sum of individual effort. Cohesive teams achieve that through sharing and building on each other’s strengths. Disjointed teams actually do worse than that because of the costs of coordination (meetings… you can tell how bad things are just by the amount of meetings an organization holds daily).

* Competence is an obvious point, but it is often confused with narrowly defined criteria for the immediate job at hand, applied to all team members equally.

* The sense of accountability motivates and sets an important framework (ethical, financial, strategic, tactical etc), within which the team makes everyday decisions. It is unmatched in power which it exerts on our performance and no coercion, no prospect of profit (material or not) come close in effectiveness.

A leader would be remiss if she relied on these conditions to occur automatically, yet how often do we see exactly that, management lamenting about their staff’s shortcomings without any attempts to rectify them? Too often!

Innovative

Superb teams develop and prosper through innovation. This is especially important in the era of globalization when the competition is fierce and the pressure to minimize costs is often overwhelming. Why can’t this team’s work be done as well, but cheaper, elsewhere? This question never comes up if your team’s innovative spirit is seen as a great asset, a jewel within the organization.

Enjoyable

We spend perhaps half of our waking hours with our colleagues. If this is unpleasant, so is a half of our life. To me personally, this isn’t an option. As a leader, I also understand that only those teams that are enjoyable to be a part of, are sustainable in the long run.
What to aim for (and why this is not happening)

Does my take on winning teams sound reasonable? Many more points can be discussed and added, of course, but the important question I would like to answer at this point is this: what qualities should one look for in people to create a winning team as described above?

Here are seven key qualities I look for. I can easily develop everything else, such as technical skills, communication, and domain knowledge. I have little control over these innate virtues.


#1 Intelligence: Nothing beats raw intelligence, the ability to think clearly, to frame one’s thoughts, to use appropriate examples, to abstract. Intelligent people create intelligent solutions. Intelligent people are interesting to work with.

The problem with traditional hiring today is that people are pre-selected for interviews based on some arbitrary measure of experience in the industry (why five years and not three or seven?) or the stated knowledge of a tool or technology (is your resume not full of buzzwords?). But how often do you see the requirement of intelligence?

#2 Integrity: As leaders, we put our utmost trust in people. As the experience of many political leaders suggests (President Obama’s effort in putting the Cabinet together is the most recent), integrity is not to be taken for granted and its lack in a subordinate can be very damaging indeed.

#3 Enthusiasm: Another powerful internal motivator, it cannot be taught. It is, however, said to be contagious. The upbeat take on life, events, and adversity is essential in today’s environment.

#4 Curiosity: The drive to learn, challenge, question, and try to understand is incredibly important if the team’s performance, growth, and the ability to innovate is of any significance at all. I don’t know how to develop it in someone lacking it. Do you?

#5 Diversity: One of the fallacies of hiring is approaching it as if people were screws — state the length, the diameter, the head shape, and the type of the thread, and expect them all to be the same for the immediate project at hand.

This approach is demeaning for the candidate and limiting (possibly, damaging) for the organization. Recently, an IT executive lamented on his efforts to find a job after being laid off. It seems, he said, that 20 years of diverse experience, solid leadership, and great results are not as important as whether he managed a particular system. This is the reality.

I look for people with complimentary skills and experiences, which not only make the team so much more powerful in terms of the breadth of collective knowledge, it also encourages teamwork and learning (we all need each other), and creates a team that delivers much more than a multiple of the individual effort.

#6 Teamwork. There is a small proportion of the population unable to work in a group. They may be great at what they do, highly intelligent, and have solid values, but it’s a team we are building, right?

#7 Sociability: What kind of people do you like to work with? Friendly, helpful, with a sense of humor? So do I.

What is the Meaning of Life?

What is the Meaning of Life?

Do you sometimes wonder what the purpose of life is? If you are not sure, you may be looking at life the wrong way. You may have a view of life as a path. But, there is another way to see life. Read on to find out what that way is. Let’s first take a look at the conventional way to understand life as a path. Do you see your life as a path? That’s an image that is often used in the realm of spirituality personal growth. I’m guilty of it myself.

This implies that we are struggling towards a pinnacle. We overcome hardship and climb up and up towards…well, towards what, exactly? In the spiritual realm we might say that we climb towards enlightenment, wisdom, awakening, or…what? In the realm of personal growth we might imagine that we are climbing towards, success, wealth,  personal fulfillment, or …what?

We are pulled through life by promises like a donkey by carrots. We  are always moving towards that pinnacle. First we go to kindergarten and then we look forward to primary school. We are told how wonderful it will be when we finally go to college. And then to university. Finally, as good citizens we embark on a career, a relationship, maybe a family. It seems that we are at last approaching the pinnacle of our life. (Jonathan Meads, made a funny cartoon clip that illustrates this. Do have a look at it here.)

What pinnacle? More often than not, the pinnacle turns out to be redundancy, or illness. And then – one day the sun goes behind a cloud – and we die. Just like that.Now, tell me again – where was that pinnacle?
Did I miss it?

The strange thing is that for a long time the pinnacle seems to be in the future. Just out of reach. Then, from one moment to the next, it seems to be in the past. You’re suddenly beyond it. You’re a ‘has-been’. And you can’t quite remember what the pinnacle should have been. All you know is that you’ve missed it.

That’s pretty depressing, isn’t it? But, stop!  

What if life isn’t a path?  What if life is a dot?

Yes, I said dot. A dot doesn’t have dimension. There is no before and after. The dot is now. This moment. Now. What if this moment right now is the pinnacle of our life? What if each moment is the pinnacle? That is, if we actually live it and don’t miss it through dreaming of the future.

What if the smell of fresh ground coffee is the pinnacle? What if the hug at the door as you go to work is the pinnacle? It would change things, wouldn’t it? We would focus on what we enjoy, and not on moving up in our career. We would surf more, and dance more, and sing more, and laugh more, and love more, and hug more.

We would feel the wind in our hair. We would watch the moon rise. We would bask in the sun. We would roll in the mud. We would play in the surf.

We would kick up our heels and feel free. Free to be a bit wild. Even zany. We would live with abandon.

We would enjoy that dot. The dot that is life. Let’s have a conversation: What do you think? How is your life? Are you on a path or on a dot?

How to live life to the full

The 10 Most Important Things In Life

I'm a relatively young man. I don't consider myself wise but I do pay attention more than most people my age.I love to tell stories, jokes, and in general my life is an open book. I love to have fun and tell those around me exactly what I'm thinking. Believe it or not when I am not talking I am doing something even more important, listening. I truly enjoy a good conversation and especially with those older. I give speeches and tomorrow is for a group of seniors and older. Everyday I look at older people and think, what have they done right and what did they do wrong? I have gathered it all from talking to seniors about what they did right and what they wish they had done.

1. Be patient
Money must be saved over a long period of time. Don't take high risks for quick returns. Investing is a marathon not a sprint.

2. Take the risks while you are young.
It is ok to take calculated high risks occasionally, but do them when you have time to make it up.

3. Don't gamble
Gambling is for the desperate and the poor. If you must, do small amounts and view it as
pure entertainment. You will never make money in the long run gambling

4. Stay healthy.
Good health keeps your mind sharp, your doctor bills low, you lifespan long, and lets you work more to make more money. Healthy people make more money

5. Laugh and Smile
See above. Happy people make more money.

6. Buy and car a keep it for many years or if you need a new one buy one a few years old.
A car is one of the biggest waste of money in our lives. People spend too much on new one. Should be buying newer used ones.

7. Everything in moderation.
I learned this from an older customer that used this as his mantra. He said he did everything in moderation from drinking to working. He said it was the key to life

8. Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty
The key to a happy marriage. A good marriage will help you save money or cost you a fortune if it goes bad. People stayed together longer in years past. They were a savings team.

9. Don't spend your money on worthless things.
Don't buy anything at the checkout counter, don't buy collectibles, don't buy all the worthless junk sold around you at the box stores.

10. Move
Stay active. The more you see the more you learn. The more learn the more ideas you have. The more ideas you have, the more chance you come up with something that will earn or save you money.
These are all my opinions as gathered by my ears. Some people may agree some may not but it's how I live my life. Enjoy

Change Just a part of life.

I am believer of the fact that where ever we get life lessons, learn from them and implement in life.I save the motivating quotes so that I can refer again and again to align myself.  Here are 5 quotes.

1. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
2. The difference between something good and something great is attention to detail.
3. Alleged impossibilities are opportunities for our capacities to be stretched.
4. We cannot change our past. We can not change the fact that people act in a certain way. We can not change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.
5. We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.

Be proud of your behavior. Rise above your emotions.

Our behavior separates us from the crowd. We can live consciously and make a real impact in life or fall prey to any emotion that comes along. How we behave is our choice, our decision as to which route we take. And this decision is moment by moment, day by day, constantly there before us to make. With thought, supported by our value system, we can travel the path that leads us to walk with pride through life. And in so doing, make a real contribution to life as a whole.


Behavior – behave with thought and feeling – live a meaningful life

Our behavior marks us for the type of person we are. For where else does the way we behave emanate from - from within us does it not? Where else could it come from? The way we act and the way we behave are products of the way we are, how we feel, how we think, and how we keep our emotions in check -amongst other things.

What can we say about the way we behave?

We live our lives in the ways we see fit. We can follow others or mark out our own path and follow that. If something does not work we try something else. And then we can revert back to what we were doing on a whim. Logical and contrary at the same time . . .

The ways we act are often responsible, both for our own efforts and their repercussions, but also for the effects on others and the world we live in. At other times we can get an idea in our head, sometimes emotionally directed, and we will allow nothing to get in our way.

We can be regular and easy going people, but also can be contrary and unpredictable. We follow rules and regulations, and yet can rebel against them at the slightest inclination.

What mark do we leave on life?

What is there to gain from a study of behavior? Sure we think, we consider, we act, but often it is our behavior that actually leaves its mark on our life and the things we do. It leaves our imprint. This may be good and positive or it may be bad and negative. It can be a complex phenomenon.

* our attitudes can determine our actions and our degree of success
* our conduct can advance our endeavors or force them into the mud where progress becomes problematical
* the way we function depends upon a lot of things but the way we behave is one of its major influences
* our manners are good when we behave well, but can be very poor if our behavior deteriorates
* our routines have a bearing on how we act and how productive we may be in life
* if we behave poorly our level of tact may well suffer and we may well end up saying things we should not have said as well as things we did not want to say
* our deeds may be on the poor side of helpful and be largely selfish in nature

We can see how things can deteriorate if we do not keep things in check.

Where does all this come from?

How we tackle things in life leads to our behavior. How we see things in life leads to the way we feel and think about things and hence to our behavior. How we act in life leads to certain behaviors being adopted.

Where we end up on life is in no small part down to the way we behave. The code we follow. The deeds we perform. And the way we conduct ourselves. How we handle situations and ourselves. How we manage our life. How we treat others and ourselves.

And why? It is clear that the things highlighted in the previous paragraph will play a major role in how we live, how we act, how we are in life.

How to lead a responsible, caring life?

How can we lead a responsible life? We need to have a firm and solid foundation for our life. We need to live our life from a sound basis. We need to live by good solid principles and standards. Then our behavior will be responsible, productive and satisfying.

What rules, principles or standards might we live by? We need

* to develop, refine and live by our own set of values
* to realize our virtues and let them support us
* to let ethics into our life and benefit from them
* to live by responsible standards and principles


And how can we live and behave on this basis?

We can learn

* to make good decisions
* to set goals and achieve
* to manage our life well
* to have a place in our life for self development and self improvement
* to look after ourselves with a good self care and self preservation program


And what can we develop to help us behave with responsibility?

We can

* become self reliant
* avoid self criticism and self deception
* become more self aware
* live with more self control and self discipline
* develop a good and supporting system of values

So, a possible secret - but no secret really - is to live by good standards and principles. And then to utilize them to help look after and take responsibility for our life.

We can then behave and lead a life that does not respond to circumstance, for that can play havoc with what we do and how we act. We can move to a life where we are confident and take the lead and then let our inner feeling of enjoyment and satisfaction motivate us to lead a productive and active life. A life of endeavor and contribution.

And we can truly enjoy our lives. And have a live of giving and not wanting to take. To do things, to behave, without continual thought for gain. To not put a price on good behavior, but rather to prize it. To give thanks for our ability to contribute to life as a whole. To be able to rejoice in the way we behave and the way we live our life.

Influence – the Key to Success

"Pull the string, and it will follow wherever you wish. Push it, and it will go nowhere at all." – Dwight Eisenhower

"Before you can inspire with emotion, you must be swamped with it yourself. Before you can move their tears, your own must flow. To convince them, you must yourself believe."

– Winston Churchill

I just finished reading this book: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. I want to resume it, and to do so, I wrote this list of each important point Mr. Carnegie discuss in the book. The first time I ear about that book, I was skeptical. The title could seem selfish and pompous, but it is nothing like this. This book is about how to be more human and a good citizen; it is about being nice with people and how to work with them.


1. Do not criticize. “Criticism is futile because it puts a man on the defensive, and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a man’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses his resentment.” – Dale Carnegies. Related quotes: Criticism

2. Give honest, sincere appreciation. “Dr. Dewey says the deepest urge in human nature is ‘the desire to be important.’”. Related quotes: Compliments

3. Get the other person’s point of view and see things from his angle. The thing here is to give to your interlocutor what he wants, and not what you, you want. Related quotes: Desire and Others’ view point

4. Become genuinely interested in other people. Related quotes: Interest

5. Smile.

6. Remember names. “Remember that a man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in the English language.

7. Be a good listener. “Encourage others to talk about themselves”. Related quotes: listen

8. Make the other person feel important. “And do it sincerely”

This is the most important points he talk about in his book. However he added other sections that goes in that trend.

Twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it

2. Show respect for the other man’s opinions

3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically

4. Begin in a friendly way

5. Get the other person sating “yes, yes” immediately

6. Let the other man do a great deal of the talking

7. Let the other man feed that the idea is his

8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view

9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires

10. Appeal to the nobler motives

11. Dramatize you ideas

12. Throw down a challenge

Nine ways to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment


1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation

2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly

3. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders

4. Let the other man save his face

5. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in you approbation and lavish in your praise.”

6. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to

7. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct

8. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

How Helping Others Can Reduce Stress and Increase Happiness

Help Yourself Find Happiness By Helping Others

Helping others brings good feelings to the giver and the receiver of the good deeds. Using your special gifts to help others can be a gift to yourself as you enjoy a self esteem boost for making others’ lives better, and make the world a better place. You feel more worthy of good deeds yourself, your trust in the decency of people is reinforced, and you feel more connected to yourself and to others. In fact, research shows that those who demonstrate more altruistic social interest tend to enjoy higher levels of mental health, above and beyond the practical benefits of receiving help and other known psychospiritual, stress, and demographic factors that you would expect.

Creating a balanced lifestyle that includes service to others can help you feel less stress as well, as you feel more connected to your spirit, more grateful for what you have, and less invested in the ‘rat race’ that causes stress for so many of us. The following articles can give you ideas and resources for how to create a life that includes more helping others.

* Finding Meaning Through Helping Others: Do you have a nagging feeling that something's missing? Many people find volunteering time, money or castoffs as a way to give life meaning.

* Follow Your Passion: Look within yourself and see what you'd like to be doing to help others, and then do it!

* Network For Good: This site  can help you find volunteer opportunities in your area that fit your criteria.

Real Love

How to Love

Love is a strange thing. It can be the most amazing feeling in the world, or it can really hurt, but in the end love is something most, if not all of us, will face. While there are many different ways to define love and there are many different ways to love someone, here is a general guide to loving. What everybody needs is LOVE.






 Steps

1. Say it. When you say the words "I Love You", they should carry with them the desire to show someone that you love them, not what you simply want to feel. When you say it make sure you really mean it and are willing to do anything for that special person.

2. Empathize. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Rather than impose your own expectations or attempt to control them, try to understand how they feel, where they come from, and who they are. Realize how they could also love you back just as well.

3. Love unconditionally. If you cannot love another person without attaching stipulations, then it is not love at all, but deep-seated opportunism (one who makes the most of an advantage, often unmindful of others). If your interest is not in the other person as such, but rather in how that person can enhance your experience of life, then it is not unconditional. If you have no intention of improving that person’s life, or allowing that person to be themselves and accepting them as they are, and not who you want them to be, then you are not striving to love them unconditionally.

4. Expect nothing in return. That doesn't mean you should allow someone to mistreat or undervalue you. It means that giving love does not guarantee receiving love. Try loving just for the sake of love. Realize that someone may have a different way of showing his or her love for you; do not expect to be loved back in exactly the same way.

5. Realize it can be lost. If you realize that you can lose the one you love, then you have a greater appreciation of what you have. Think how lucky you are to have someone to love. Don't make an idol of the person you love. This will place them under undue pressure and will likely result in you losing them.

What is that?

A Motivational Video on Compassion, Love, Patience and Kindness. A powerful piece of communication skill demonstrated.

A happy person can be a bit childlike at times.  Try to live life with no regrets.

Discover How to Live a Happy Life

Living a happy life is not something that we just know how to do. As we go on in life it almost seems as if people teach us how to live miserable lives instead of happy ones. The truth is that you are supposed to live a happy life. Here are 3 keys to help illuminate the road to a happy life.

1. Find out what makes you happy.
Ask someone to write down 50 things that make them happy and you will find that most people start struggling to come up with things after the first 10 or 20. If you don’t know what makes you happy then you don’t know what to work for to make you happy. Stumbling across happiness is like stumbling across a winning lottery ticket, it rarely happens. So what makes you happy?

2.Pursue what makes you happy.
Now that you know what makes you happy it’s time to start implementing a plan that will help you reach happiness. It’s great that you now what makes you happy now but information without action is useless. What actions will it take for you to be happy? A hint to doing this is making the entire actions dependant on you. If your happiness is dependant upon someone else you are on the wrong track. Don’t rely on other people to make you happy.

3. Learn not to stress.

Notice here that I said ‘learn’ not to stress. This may take some time but it’s important that you learn to not stress out over everything. Stress not only causes mental fatigue but it can also cause physical problems in your body. If necessary go to a stress management seminar and learn how to do this. The less stress that you have in your life the happier you will be.

How to Save a Team

Great example of a real team Coach giving directions .

Team Building & Teamwork

Untill I am able to upload powerpoints on this blog. Here is the text from one of the powerpoints I created on teamwork. I am still figuring out how to upload them to a blog but till then, hope these are useful.


Some Quotes
Coming together is a Beginning. Keeping together is a Progress.
Working together is a Success.
Teamwork divides the task and double the Success.
Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence wins championships.
There is no I in Teamwork.

"It's possible to achieve almost anything as long as you are not worried about who gets the credit."
– Harry S. Truman

10 Commandments for an Enthusiastic Team

1.Help each other be right – not wrong.

2.Look for ways to make ideas work – not for reason they will not.

3. If doubt – check it out. Don’t make negative assumptions about each other.

4. Help each other win and take pride in each other’s victories.

5. Speak positively about each other and about the organization at every opportunity.

6. Maintain a positive attitude no matter what the circumstances.

7. Act with initiative and courage as if it all depends on you.

8. Do every thing with enthusiasm – it’s contagious.

9. Whatever you want – give it away.

10. Don’t lose faith – never give up.

T.E.A.M Together Everyone Achieves More

Do you know what’s the name of this Bird ?
GOOSE



Fact – 1. As each goose flaps it’s wings it creates an uplift for the birds that follows. By flying V formation, the whole flock adds 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew alone.a)Common direction, sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier when they are traveling on the thrust of one another.


Fact – 2. When Goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back in to formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front of it.
b)We are willing to accept others help and give out help to others.


Fact – 3. When the lead Goose tires it rotates back in to the formation and another Goose flies to the point position.
c) It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership. People are interdependent on each other’s skills, capabilities, and unique arrangements of gifts, talents or resources.

Fact – 4. Geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.
d) In groups where there is encouragement the production is much greater.

Fact – 5. When a Goose gets sick, wounded or shot down, two Geese drop out of formation and follow it down to help. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly again. Then they launch out with another formation are catch up with the flock.
e) If we have much sense as Geese, we will stand by each other in difficult times as well as when we are strong.

How to improve the Teamwork

An Open Area – Information about me that is known by me and others.

A Blind Area – Information about me that is known by others not me.

A Hidden Area – Information about me that is known to me but not to any one else in the Team.

An Unknown – Information about me that is unknown to me and the rest of the Team.


We are most productive when we work with others in the Open Area. Misunderstanding are least likely to occur here because communication is clearest.
Fortunately the size of the open area can be increased.


Disclosure expands the Open Area in to the Hidden Area.

Feed back expands the Open Area in to the Blind Area.

Self discovery expands the Open Area in to the Unknown Area.





Always Remember this
Smooth roads never makes good drivers. Smooth seas never make good sailors. Clear skies never make a good pilots. A problem free life never makes a strong and good person. Have a tough but winning day ahead. Be strong enough to accept the challenges of life. Do not ask life, Why Me? Instead say    Try Me.

Leadership Qualities

Leadership Qualities

The 9 Major Causes of Failure in Leadership

Not all of us are natural born leaders. Most of us are moving into leadership roles from a followers role. So we have to work at it very hard in order to be great at it. However, some of us will stumble along the way. For those of you that will stumble. You will battle the mistakes that come along with being a leader. There are 9 mistakes you must avoid in order to be the best leader you can be.

Inability to organize details
The first mistake is the inability to organize details. This is one of the most common mistake a leader can make. You must be very organized as a leader. Organization will allow you to schedule events and foresee possible problems. Also a leader that is too busy is not a true leader. A leader should never be to busy to help others.

Unwillingness to render humble services
Some leaders think and feel they are better then the people that follow them. They feel since they have moved into a leadership role that some tasks are below them. That there are some tasks they shouldn't have to perform anymore. A true leader will lead by example. They are not afraid to role up their sleeves and offer some elbow grease. When a situation gets tough and no one want to perform it. This is when a lead should take the reins and show their follows that no one is above the law. They are there to help them get through it. Whether by manual labor or mental brainstorming.

Expectation of pay for what they know
Avoiding this mistake will make the difference whether your business succeeds or fails. Leaders that feel they should get paid for what they know, instead of what they do are destined to fail. The world may start off paying you for what you know. However after the beginning if you don't perform that pay will be cut. In network marketing the great leaders get paid a lot of money for what they do. You have to take action in order to have longevity in that industry. Otherwise you will never make it off the ground.

Fear of competition from followers
The fastest way to grow your network marketing business is to help others achieve their goals. When you help others make a check, your check will get bigger. Ii is easier to have 100 people doing 30% of the work. Then it is for you to do 100% by yourself. So if you're always worried that one of your followers will by pass you in rank or pay. You will never achieve your goals.

Lack of Imagination
An imagination is crucial to entrepreneurs especially leaders. Without this trait, leaders will not be able to effectively handle emergencies as they pop up. They will also lack the creative planning to efficiently guide there followers.

Selfishness
There is no greater feeling then being noticed and honored for the hard work you have done. One of the quickest ways to create distrust and discernment in your followers is to except all of the praise. Whether you deserve it or not. Great leaders will always give the credit to his followers. Whether it was because of him or not. Always giving the credit to your followers will strengthen the trust and subconsciously make then want to work harder for you.

Disloyalty
Every leader will have chinks in their armor at some period in their leadership. However one chink you want to straighten out quickly would be disloyalty. A disloyal leader will create distrust issues amongst the team. Disloyal leader rarely create longevity, let alone wealth.

Emphasis of the authority of leadership
A great leader will lead with encouragement, not with fear. As a leader you never want to use your authority to impress your followers. A leader that leads with fear and impressing flare is leading by force. Throughout history such dictators like Hitler, Napoleon, and Stalin led by force. We all know want happen to them! Real leaders need not advertise there authority. They lead through their conduct of understanding, fairness, and know how.

Emphasis of title
Real leaders don't need a title to feel empowered and respected by others. Titles have a tendency to separate people by stator. A leader should always be accessible to anyone at anytime. Great leaders always have an open door policy and they check their ego's at the door. Leaders that emphasis their title have nothing else to show for.


So these are the 9 ways you can fail at leadership. You only need to be bad at one to invoke failure. Just remember everything take practice. Only a follow people are natural born leaders. The rest of us have to learn from mistakes to become a great leader. Don't believe for one second that you can never become a great leader. 80% of leadership is how you present yourself and act. Think and act like a leader and the rest will follow.

Leadership Development - The Easiest Way to Overcome Adversity

Have you found that leadership development requires you to be able to deal with difficult people sometimes? In a perfect world, there would be no such people and you could focus on the more important aspects of leading such as building your vision and connecting with the people who can truly become a part of making it a reality. Ah, wouldn't that be nice? Ok, back to the real world. So how do we deal with adversity as leaders and perhaps even use it to our advantage? Well, surely there are no quick fixes in regard to leadership development; however there is an easy method which you can use to deal with difficult people.


The first is that the difficult person who you are dealing with is most likely someone who you cannot fire or get rid of. That would be easy and would not require any leadership development training or conflict management skills. However, since it is someone you have to deal with there is one thing which you will want to keep in mind as you are resolving an issue with them: That person has value to your organization in some way. That is the first thing that you want to focus on, you'll see why in a second.


The next thing which you do is address their behavior instead of attacking them and let them know why the negative behavior bothers you. This means that you point out what kind of consequences are likely to occur as a result of the behavior. What you have to realize is that every behavior has some kind of a positive motivation, maybe an emotional need which this person is trying to fulfill. The problem is that most of the time people have come to believe that the only way for them to get what they want is with some ridiculous or negative behavior. This is to your advantage because if you get them to look at the true consequences then you can get them to make a different choice.


People will often defend a negative behavior because of the needs which they are trying to fulfill in doing it. You will not win by fighting that battle; they are ready for you with their boxing gloves on. Instead, get them to consider the true consequences. This is usually quick to sober people up since most of the time when someone is doing something destructive or hurtful to others they are not thinking about the true consequences.


Telling someone what your concerns are also gets them out of the defense mode and into the problem solving mode with you. It is a total win win. Once you have addressed this, suggest an alternative and again let them know what you feel that the positive consequence of that choice may be. This changes their focus to the solution based thinking and makes them less likely to defend the behavior. Finally let them know WHY you would like to see the change: because you value them as a part of your organization or team.


While this may take some practice, making it a part of your personal leadership development and practicing it until it becomes a habit will bring you much success in dealing with adversity.

Ten Qualities of a Good Leader

It is a moot issue whether leaders are born or created but one thing is clear that there are certain character traits which help an individual to become a great leader. The last century has witnessed some of the greatest of all world leaders. These leaders have always shaped our society in past and will help to shape our future also. A great leader is always a boon to society.
What all it takes to become a good leader? Here are ten qualities which can make an individual a good leader.

1. A leader should be Commendable and Exemplary. A good leader should be trustworthy so that people can follow him. He/she should live his life with honesty and integrity. He/she should live a life such that nobody can question his character.

2. A good leader is always enthusiastic about the cause of the people. He/she must have the capability to see what is good or bad for the people in the long run. He/she approaches a problem in a holistic manner and never believes himself/herself different from his people and subject.

3. A leader believes in discipline. He/she follows an orderly manner and routine but still he/she is tolerant. He/she takes decision keeping emotions and personal matters aside.

4. A leader has excellent logical and analytical skills. He/she looks each and every aspects of the situation before arriving to any decision and never loses his/her temper in difficult situations. He/she should think positively in each and every situation.

5. A leader should always focus towards his goals, what he/she has envisioned for and promised to his people. He/she should take each and every decision keeping in mind the people and his subject.

6. A great leader is proactive and committed to excellence. He always maintains high standard and acts as an idol for his/her followers. His/her personal and public life both are remarkable and stain free.

7. A leader inspires his team to achieve target and lead them to success. He/she brings best out of them in the time of crisis also.

8. A good leader is the one who can give people voice and direction.

9. A leader should be tolerant of uncertainty and should always remain tranquil, composed and persistent to his/her goals.

10. A good leader always keeps a cool head in times of crises and finds solutions to get everybody out of any difficult situation.
Some qualities discussed above are naturally present in individuals, right from the time of birth and some others are developed with experiences. The characteristics discussed can be strengthened and developed to become a good leader.

Why is Leadership So Important?

You may have heard this as a kid, "there are leaders and there are followers." As a kid it probably didn't mean much, but think about it now as an adult. Is this true? Why or why not?
The fact of the matter is that the statement is true for the most part. Think about it for a second. Think about your job. Think about your family. Think about your relationships. There most absolutely are leaders and followers in all of those areas of your life.
Which one are you? Is this a choice that you make, or does it just occur?
Some people are born leaders and some followers, but everyone has the ability to be either one or the other.
Which one would you choose? Why?
Look at some famous people. Movie stars, comics, politicians, athletes, scientists, teachers. Do you think that these people have leadership qualities? Even those an athlete may have very strong legs, or this politician has a Harvard degree, or this comic is naturally funny they all still have leadership qualities that got them to where they are today.
Qualities such as persistence, dedication, drive, ambition, courage and mental fortitude. These people did what others would not. They took the steps. They made their own moves.
Think about some of your friends. Are any of these people leaders?
Are you a leader? Or are you a follower?
Well whatever your answer is you have a choice. If you are a follower then you absolutely have the choice to change into a leader. It will be tough though. You will have to come out of your comfort zone.
The highest paid people in the world are leaders without a doubt. Their income is a direct reflection of the value they hold and give back to the world.
So is it clear yet why leadership is so important in life?

 If you are in a situation right now and want something more, or something better, chances are that you will have to become a leader. You will have to do what others aren't doing. You will have to say goodbye to status quo and do what matters most.

Watch his eyes when he talks. That’s happiness at work right there.

Are you as passionate about your job? Do you know as much about your products/field? Do you care as deeply about making your customers happy and helping them make good choices? Are you as free to do things your way, rather than do what everyone else does?

If you are – kudos! I bet you’re happy at work.

If not, I humbly submit to you that you are wasting your work life.

This level of happiness at work is not reserved for a few special individuals who luck into the right career or the right genetic makeup for happiness. Anyone can get it. Anyone!

And it’s not just that you could. You should.

How to Feel Happy at Work 7 Secrets of a "Thank God It's Monday" Workplace

by Roxanne Emmerich

What accounts for the difference between "Oh crap, it's Monday" and "Thank God it's Monday"? It's your happiness. And, for your own emotional and mental health, you need to feel happy at work.

It all boils down to seven habits that can change everything about the culture of your workplace.

1. Show up fully and commit with all your heart

At work, we think of home. At home, we think of work. Time to stop that. The first step toward a TGIM workplace is being present and accounted for at work. Thinking about being elsewhere leads to resenting where you are. While you are at work, commit to work with all your heart. This is what I call throwing your heart over the bar--committing 100 percent to the moment and task before you.

2. Communicate clearly

Use powerful and positive language about what you will do and the attitude you expect from others. If a TGIM workplace is your goal, take the time to make your communications clear on every level.

3. Go beyond the job description

Going beyond the job description happens when you pitch in and help others at work without expecting reward. Willingly share the load. If you're caught up on your tasks, help someone else who is crunching for a deadline. Instead of feeling like it's an extra burden, you will actually feel like you play a bigger role in your company than you ever did before.


4. Don't tolerate dysfunctional behaviors

Establish a zero-tolerance policy for talking behind another person's back. Then give each other permission to address conflict head-on, out loud, courageously and honestly. Create a trusting and open environment and watch the dysfunction ebb away.

5. Clean up your messes

Relationships are built on trust. Without that foundation, there is no basis for a relationship. We breach the trust each time we don't do what we said we would do. But here's the thing--that breach can be healed quickly IF you come back and clean up the mess. Acknowledge that the results are not okay then make a commitment to make things right and prevent a recurrence.

6. Live a life of profound service

Once you place yourself in the service of those around you--your family, your colleagues and your customers--every moment becomes imbued with purpose and significance. You will feel GOOD.

As you drive to work, begin thinking about how the work you do is serving others and contributing to their success and happiness. This is the essence of true service, and the key to a workplace that draws you happily back, Monday after Monday after Monday.

7. Celebrate

Every project consists of little steps and little victories along the way. Recognize and celebrate them in both large and small ways. Build a system of celebrations and rewards--quarterly, weekly, daily--and follow through like your company's life depends on it. Because, (psst) it does.

Acquire these seven habits and spread them through your workplace. Then be sure to notice the first Monday your hand reaches for the alarm--and you smile. You can love your job and feel happy at work if you follow these 7 secrets.

An incredible Story

Power Method #3) State Management

“I’m not in the mood today, I’ll do it tomorrow.” 
“I really don’t FEEL like doing that right now.” 
Have you ever heard someone say these things?  Perhaps you say them to yourself on a regular basis?  The bottom line is that if you wait around to feel in the right mood or emotional state to do something, it’s most likely never going to happen.  99% of people in the world have no control over how the feel.  They either wake up happy, or they don’t.  They have a “bad day” or a “good day.” To these kinds of people it seems that the way we feel is some kind of mystical enigmatic force that we have no control over.  Part of success is being able take ACTION despite FEAR, PAIN, and UNCOMFORT.  Taking action even when you’re not in the friggen moooooooooooooooooood.(*whiny voice*)  Instead of waiting for an emotional state to come to you, use state management methods to create the emotional state you need to achieve your goals. 


Super-Charging Your Emotional State  Your emotions are dependent on 2 primary factors: 

1) What you focus on
2) What you do with your body

1. Changing Your Focus  Example: Jill’s goal is to lose 50 lbs, after a week of working out 3 times per week and changing her eating habits, she steps on the scale and notices that she only lost 1 lb.  Feeling like she isn’t moving towards her goal fast enough, she instantly begins to feel disappointed and discouraged about continuing her quest to lose weight.

“Don’t let the present moment determine your outcome!”  

One of the biggest secrets of success I’ve learned over time is that the current moment has nothing to do with your outcome!  Often we get caught up with a depressing situation, we focus on it to the point where the emotions get strong enough to stop us.  At this point, instead of focusing on what seems like a failure to Jill, she could change her focus to the actual OUTCOME she wants.  

Which is feeling great, sexy and attractive.  Feeling free and healthy. As you change your focus in critical times that would usually stop you emotionally, you create incredible power to move despite discomfort!.  

2. Using Your Body to Create Energy! 

 Changing your focus is just “positive thinking”, until you add this method into your state management arsenal.  The fastest and easiest way to create an emotional state shift in your mind, and to give your body the energy it needs to propel you to your goals, is to make a drastic change in what you’re doing with your body.  You’ve got to move fast, you’ve got to get your heart rate going, and you’ve got to make it impact! 

Power Method #2) Chunking

The second reason why people don’t take action on what they want to achieve TOO BIG inside of their head.  Often a simple goal like going to the gym to work out becomes a number of PAINFUL things. 

1. I have to go get the keys to my car. 

2. I have to put my work out clothes on, and iron them because they’re all wrinkly. 

3. I gotta go to my car and drive there through traffic. 

4. Once I get there they’ll make me sign up for a membership. 

5. Once I am signed up they’ll give me a 2 hour tour of the place and try to upsell
me even more membership options which I don’t want!

6. Then I gotta work out for an hour, and I’ll get all sweaty. 

7. I have to drive home with all that sweat on me. 

8. Once I’m home I’ll have to shower, and by then I’ll have no time to do anything else! 

         “Forget it! I’m watching TV!

Going to the gym is too complicated and too painful”  Chunking, and the Rule of 3s  Our conscious mind can usually hold only a number of things to do at once.  Whenever there is more things to do than the conscious mind can handle, we feel overwhelmed and stop everything completely.

What I realized after a while is that nothing is really as big as we make it out to be. We just have a habit to make things bigger than they are.
The above gym example could be brought down to three simple steps: 

1. Go to the gym 

2. Work out 

3. Feel great and energized!

Whenever you find yourself feeling blocked or procrastinating, think of the way you are chunking down the goal into steps?  Are you thinking of ALL the things you have to do, and how PAINFUL they will be?  If you are, chunk them down into 3 steps.  As you focus on these steps, you’ll find you’ll feel much more balanced and relaxed about the goal!

Power Method #1) Pain and Pleasure

If you learn nothing else this year but this concept, your whole life will change.  The person who has popularized this concept and changed thousands of lives with it most is Anthony Robbins. (www.tonyrobbins.com) The human mind is consciously and subconsciously motivated by two basic forces.  
1. The need to AVOID PAIN 
2. The need to GAIN PLEASURE.
 If you think about it, every single action you take in your life is driven by the need to avoid pain, and the need to gain pleasure.  The need to avoid pain is always STRONGER than the need to gain pleasure.    For example:  If you have $10,000 and you have two options  Choice a) Go for a 4 day trip to Hawaii. Choice b) Pay $10,000 to remove a tumour from your brain.  Allow me to give you a powerful example of how to instantly apply this into your life to start creating results TODAY.  Here’s a personal example of how I used this concept .  I had been planning to finally write something about my research about a month, but I kept on putting it off, why?  Frustrated with a lot of things in my life, I decided to give this Pain & Pleasure concept a Try.

 I drew a PAIN and PLEASURE graph like the one below of my current situation, and then drew one of the outcomes I wanted.  Current Situation:  PAIN    PLEASURE 
1. Writing would take too much time… I don’t have time 
2. It would be super stressful, I would have to stay up at night and do even more
research on how to create and write this so it’s perfect. 
3. What if I write it and no one will read it?  It will be a waste of time .

Pleasure  1. When I am finished I could help a lot of people with the information and improve other’s lives.
 
As you can see, my need to AVOID PAIN was pushing me in the direction not taking any action.  It’s also known as “procrastination”.  The only difference between people who procrastinate and people who succeed with taking action, is the associations of PAIN and PLEASURE they have with doing something.  I look at my pain and pleasure sheet, and thought of how I could focus my associations to push me into taking action instantly. 

I wrote a new pain and pleasure sheet  I created immense pain around NOT DOING the tasks, I clearly wrote out and visualized how this would look and feel.  The pain of NOT WRITING this was now greater than the one of writing it.  My values of contributing to the world and creating something special were now at stake.  To further hammer the nail in, I clearly described the immense pleasure visually, emotionally, of how it will feel when the task is done.  With all the arrows in my mind pulling me away from pain and into pleasure, I was on my way that very same minute.  You’re reading this article now as a result of that PAIN & PLEASURE sheet I wrote down!  This concept is so powerful, I urge you to do it as soon as you’re done reading this article.  Take at least one action you’ve been putting off in your life, whether it is a goal to lose weight, to create more money, or improve a relationship.  Take that action, create a pain and pleasure sheet and see how rapidly motivated you will be to achieve that goal. 

The 3 Most Powerful Ways to Get Yourself to Achieve ANYTHING Despite Pressure, Deadlines, and “Procrastination”

 How free and energized would you feel if you had the power to motivate yourself to do ANYTHING, stop procrastinating, and achieve all your goals in record time?  Have you ever had a concrete plan to succeed at something, but for some “inner” reason what you planned to do never got done?  We all have plans and huge dreams when we’re young, but very few people ever get past the point of taking ACTION on those dreams?  Is it because people are lazy? Or is there an inner science to achievement?  My mission is to deliver you cutting edge information to help you super-charge your life, not just your sleep system.  So in this issue of the Peak performance newsletter, I’d like to deliver to you 3 of the most powerful and impacting ways to conquer self-sabotage and get you to where you want to be in your life at lightening speed. I have personally used these tools in my life and the results have been mind-blowing. Here we go!  What is Success?  People have many different definitions for success and failure.  I’d like to give you my own definition before we move on.  Success happens whenever you decide to do something and you DO IT.  Or whenever you decide to NOT DO something and you DON’T do it.    I know it sounds simple, but 99% of people can’t even do just that!  Sure, everyone talks a lot about doing things, but hardly many people actually take action on what their supposedly high priority goals and dreams are.  I know I’ve been in the same place!  One of the most important concepts I’ve learned in my life is that 90% of Success is taking ACTION on the goal you have.  10% is the mechanics, knowledge, or resources you need to succeed.  Whatever you want in your life, you have the power to acquire the knowledge, to get the mechanics or resources you need, it’s taking action on that goal that is the biggest obstacle on the road to success in most people.  If anyone can succeed, and all it takes is ACTION, why doesn’t everyone take action to achieve their goals everyday? 

Success Begins After You Fall By Mike Brescia

Today’s your day.
I’m convinced of it.  It’s your day.  And today you’re going to get up all your courage and just do what you’ve been aching to do.
Just before you begin taking the first actions in attacking your challenge, you might be shaking like a leaf. I don’t know.
But it’s at that moment, when you’re feeling the most frightened that you’ll be making your biggest strides. Because today, you’re not going to back down.  You’re going to take a deep breath and go forward.
Are you guaranteed success?  Will you reach your goal for sure?  Will you absolutely get the outcome you’re hoping for?
Not a chance…
But you’ll prove to yourself and everyone that thinks that sometimes you’re a dead person who just hasn’t been buried yet, that you’re alive and starting to kick.
People who know me well can tell you that I have failed at more things than I have succeeded at.  But every time I get thrown for a loop, I immediately jump up.  I ask myself what I should learn from it.  And if I have to, I start completely over.
So many years after my “awakening,” I’m still growing as fast as I ever have.
I remember my football coaches yelling at me after getting knocked down to “Get up!  The play’s not over yet!”
It’s true…
In your own life, when you make a mistake or get laughed at, if your immediate response is to put your head down and start crying, you won’t be able to see the next opportunity that’s passing right in front of you, riding in the wake of your agony.
Get up!
I’m your coach now.  Don’t you dare give up.  Not while I’m breathing will you ever again put your tail between your legs and turn away from what might be your greatest accomplishments.  I won’t accept that from you.
Not from you.  You’re too good.
Is that an odd way to describe your failure and humiliation?
Well, whenever you’ve succeeded at getting your way at just about anything, it’s rarely been on the first try. Right?  It’s usually been after being told ‘No’ a few times, or screwing something up a bunch of times before finally getting it right.
Well, isn’t that true?
Take that template for success and place it over everything you want to do.  Everything.
When you think about some goal that seems quite a stretch for you, and the thought comes in that says, “I couldn’t do that,” stop and place your previous success template over it. Know that no matter how big it is, if you just “remember” that, while it might be difficult, you can do it.  And you’re already half way there.
Do this all day today.  “I can do it” needs to be your mantra.
If you do, I promise you that your muscles will be stretched.  Your mind will be stretched. And those goals that “looked” impossible will suddenly seem do-able.
It’ll be like you’ve been given a new pair of eyes. Don’t just sit there… Get up.  Today’s not over. It’s your day.  Tomorrow may never come.  Today is your whole life.  Do what you fear today.  You may never have another chance.  Take your shot. Oh heck.  Take 20 shots. And take them all today.

Anthony Robbins (born February 29, 1960) is an American self-help writer and professional speaker who has been active for over 30 years. He became well known through his infomercials and bestselling self-help books, Unlimited Power: The New Science Of Personal Achievement and Awaken The Giant Within. The first edition of Unlimited Power was published by Fawcett Columbine (Ballantine Books) in 1987.^[2] Robbins writes about subjects such as health and energy, overcoming fears, persuasive communication, and enhancing relationships. He also became well known in America and internationally through infomercials promoting personal development audio programs and motivational seminars. His audio programs, seminars and self-help products featured Neuro-linguistic programming and Ericksonian hypnosis which he studied at the start of his career. ^[3][4] Robbins seminars also used firewalking as a metaphor for overcoming fears and limiting beliefs. Later, Robbins combined his skills and techniques with other methods claimed to effect personal change.

Free From Stress Part 1

Stress is your typical day at work, one person copes with the pressure, the other person gets a mental breakdown. People all over the world these days have to deal with copious amounts of stress. Our lives are more hectic than ever. Between work, family and other commitments, it's completely understandable that a lot of people are so depressed and anxious. So what can we do to deal with this stress? Abandoning our jobs and families isn't an option so we have to find a way to cope..Although each person is different, there are ways to cope and ways to overcome these problems, But first we need to know what can trigger the stress for you. There is a difference between stress and pressure. A bit of pressure isn't bad as it gets the job done. Although when you get to the point that your stressed there are a few things you might want to do.

1. Identify the cause of your stress. Is your heart pounding because that idiot just cut you off on the freeway, or is it because of that presentation you have to give to your boss this afternoon? Think for a moment and try to figure out what’s really bothering you.
2. Choose your response. Even if you’re powerless to change the source of your stress, you have the power to choose how you’ll respond to it. The appropriate response to stress should depend on what’s causing it: you can either shake off your stress (ignore it and let it go immediately) or face it head-on. In order to choose your response, ask yourself some questions.
   
   
   
   
   •  Does it matter? Yeah, it’s all small stuff, but some stuff is smaller than others. Consider how long the source of stress will affect you. That idiot driver will be gone in a moment if you just let him keep speeding down the road, but the death of a loved one may affect you for years.
   • How much control do you have over the situation? You can’t control the rain that’s ruining your wedding, but you can control how well you do on your algebra exam tomorrow.
   • Is the source of stress in the past, present, or future? You can’t change the past, but you can respond to the present and prepare for the future. Let your past troubles fade.
   
   
   
3. Shake it all off. If a situation is beyond your control, or if it just isn’t that important, stop worrying about it. Easier said than done? Just do it.
   
   
   
   • Inhale deeply through your nose. In your mind, count to five seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth, for another five seconds. Repeat this breathing pattern until you feel comfortable with it.
   • Think about something else. Get your mind off the stress by thinking about something that makes you happy, such as your kids or spouse (provided they’re not the cause of the current stress), or by concentrating about the things you have planned for the day.
   • Visualize relaxing things, such as a deserted island or a country road. Close your eyes and try to picture even minor details about the imaginary place, and you can put yourself in that situation instead of the one you’re in.
   • Get away from the cause of the stress. If you can physically escape the stress trigger, do so. Leave the room or pull off the road for a moment to put things in perspective.
   • Get some exercise. Whether you go for a run, do calisthenics, do yoga, or lift weights, 10-20 minutes of physical exercise every day can relax you even when "nothing can". Getting plenty of exercise also helps you respond better to stress in the long run.
   
   
   
   
   
4. Face your stress source head-on when you're ready. Getting stressed is not going to resolve the situation. Sitting around worrying is a good way to procrastinate, but procrastinating will only prolong or intensify the stress. Facing your stress head-on is really just a way to shake off a bad situation that you cannot or should not ignore. If you can change the outcome of a situation that matters to you, the quickest way to overcome that fear or to empower yourself is to take action as quickly as possible. Once you’ve resolved the underlying problem, you can shake off the stress because it no longer matters. The steps below will help you. If you feel paralyzed, use the steps above to relax and temporarily distance yourself from the situation just long enough to be able to see it clearly.
5. Make a plan. Sometimes you can resolve a stressful situation right away with one action, but often you’ll need several steps, perhaps over a long period. Write out a plan with attainable goals and a time line for reaching those goals. Additionally, many stressful situations are avoidable. If you prepare ahead of time for important events and make contingency plans, you may not have to cope with as much stress later. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
6. Take one step at a time. A complex problem can be overwhelming, even when you’ve got your plan mapped out, but remember: the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Just focus on one small goal at a time.
7. Be realistic. If you continue to experience stress because no matter how hard you try you can’t take the steps quickly enough, you probably haven’t set realistic goals. In a culture that values a can-do attitude, it can be hard to accept that sometimes you can’t do something, at least not within a given period of time. If that’s the case, revise your time line or lower your expectations. If you can’t do that, the situation qualifies as one which you can’t control. Learn from your experience, but let it go.

• Remind yourself that without negativity, stress, sadness or depression in life, there wouldn't be joy, excitement or happiness in life. It's like the yin and yang; they'd simply not exist without each other. It's true that nobody has an easy life forever. Trouble comes to everyone sooner or later. It's all a natural part, a cycle people have to go through in life.
• Focus on someone else who is in the same situation as you and try to tune in to that person’s calm. Remember that if he or she isn’t nervous, you probably don't have to be.